Tears

Like so many of my normal days, I just had a fight with my boyfriend/ex-boyfriend. Sometimes I wonder why I go through all this, it's just too energy sapping. And so incredibly time-wasting, not to mention stupid. You know that song by Stevie Wonders "I Just Called to say I Love You"? Well, try the opposite. He just called to say I'm selfish. Which, naturally, made me slam down the phone. That's just him telling me he's still angry and he won't be coming to apologize tonight but he misses me and all the times we spent together... and all that bulls***.

The phone rings again. I really wish he'd stop because it's getting really annoying. I can't recall a night we didn't fight during my exam. Maybe it's my fault too as the stress really gets to my head, but what was he doing snooping around my phone for? Well, actually we were fighting because of a lot of reasons. Started off small and innocent enough when it gets bigger and bigger. Then all of a sudden he starts shouting at me because of his 'discovery' that I was smsing my other ex last Sunday. So happens that that Sunday we had a huge fight and he was home sick(read: he was sleeping the whole day until 9p.m. not bothering to call). Well, coincidentally, my other ex (the younger immature one) decided to sms because he was 'wondering what I was doing'. I suspect my BF/xBF found out a few days ago and he thinks I was going behind his back. Like, hellooooooo? Why would I hide something like this? And as it turns out, I thought so little of the sms incident that I totally forgot about it. Which is also why I didn't tell him. I simply forgot. And if you want to know, to make it all fair, I ended up having a 'disagreement' with this immature guy. Why? because he wasn't so happy that I had 3 boyfriends since him and he had none. Guys' ego, you know.

Well, ego and jealousy just can't seem to escape guys. Ego I can stand. Jealousy? Aren't you happy enough that I'm yours in the first place? God, MEN! It all ended up with me forcing him out of my house and him calling me selfish and say all of the terrible things he can say about me. That is him people. He is not trying to make me angry so much as trying to make himself angry. Make himself angry enough to walk out of my house because if not he'll remember the times (7 months) he spent without me and he'll turn back. This time he got to make himself angry enough to get in the car and drive away. He might reach his house, and if he did I won't be seeing him until tomorrow, at least. Good. Finally I have some time alone.

Today is unofficially the last day of my trials. Overall, I did averagely bad. And failing Chemistry is definitely not impossible. If my results are as bad as my last exam, I'll probably end up 6-feet under. Actually I still have my Thinking Skills paper tomorrow but I have no idea what to study for Paper 1. It's like doing SPM all over again and doing the accounts MCQ paper last. It's just frustrating. But also good to know the worst's over.

So today I have a hope that my life will end up like last time(the 7 months) when my BF/xBF is nonexistant in my life. I remember being happy then. Boyfriendless, but happy nevertheless. Oh yea, did I mention? Me and my BF/xBF were not on good terms(the 7 months) because of this immature guy from my old school. So if we go through a long period not talking to each other again, it'll funnily still be because of this guy, indirectly. I just thought of that.

Well, look at the bright side, I can now go get that guy driving a Mini Cooper!


Love~
Me<3