Sounds and Memories

I was just listening to the Star Wars song of the John William orchestra, the full version. It was superbly excellent. The blend of flutes, violin, tuba, trumpets and all the others just amazes me, gave me goosebumps just listening to it. Then, I realize that I do miss KYS. The orchestra days there, the best days of my life. If I hadn't been in an orchestra, I wouldn't know how to appreciate such music like John William's. Where I learnt to differentiate the difference of all the instruments and the harmony of all blending into one great music. Yes, the days on the orchestra tour all over Malaysia is always etched in my memory. They were great, and so amazing. I played clarinet 1 and it was the higher part of the scores so I'm always nervous before a performance that me clarinet might do those squeaking noises. Especially when they put the microphone right next to me.

I also know why all these while I don't really miss KYS that much. My last days in the orchestra wasn't exactly peaches and cream. There was a girl. I was so close to her, really good friends. But what I don't know is who she really is inside. She had something with a crush of mine once and I should've known then, I guess. I, being me, was cool about it with her at that time eventhough I was burning inside. Thought our 'friendship' was more important than an immature guy. So I let it slip, although we were not very close anymore after that.

My mistake was I told her who my next crush was. Then, out of all subtleties, she tried to get that guy too. But when she can't, she told everyone that I'm 'copying' a senior who had a crush on the same guy once, just to tarnish my name. So me and this guy got closer and closer, me still being oblivious to what she was doing. It all happened in an orchestra tour.

It was my last orchestra tour. We were all assigned busses: Bus1-boys, Bus2-girls, Bus 3-girls&boys. I was in bus2 but I was soon terribly broken to find out that all the other girls my year has someone to sit with - I asked too late. So, to lick my wounds, I sat at the locker area sulking. Suddenly this guy walked by and said, "Explain," so I did. He offered to sit with me if I can transfer to bus3. I tried and tried, but can't. By a stroke of luck though, on the day we get on the bus, they miscalculated and bus2 was overflowing, so I ran off to bus3 and sit with him. That was when we started, me and him, but I'll spare you the details.

Coincidentally, the girl I was talking about was in the same bus as well. Well, something happened in the bus a teacher found out(between me and him) and the teacher made us change seats(nothing bad, really). She saw that, so what she did was straight away sms my BF/exBF. She was good though, instead of telling him(which would make her look bad), she ASKED him. Like, you know, "What happened in the bus? Why'd they have to change seats?" Actually, what she was indirectly doing is letting my BF/exBF know something happened between me and that guy. Then, she went to everyone, acting like she knows what exactly happen and dig out information from those who already know(3 teachers). Then, she told everyone to give me a bad name(boarding schools are close minded enough to think sitting with a guy is bad enough). When I ask her if she knew, she said,"Everyone knows." When, actually it's not true. And she made it as if the teachers were the one who told everyone. I was furious and went to confront the teacher. He questioned a few people and found out it's not true. Unfortunately, the few people he questioned thinks I'm accusing them of something they didn't do. By the end of everything, these few unintetionally hurt people went around telling people how bad I am of accusing them. Naturally, this girl acted like she was a 'victim' of my accusations too, for symphaty.

When we got back to school, half of the school was filled in about 'what happened' and how terribly bad I am, by her. Just to get them all on her side, knowing she ws the one in the wrong. I, on the other hand, was ready to let it go and leave it all behind so I didn't say a word to anybody about what really happened. They take it that I'm the guilty one because of that. Only very few actually came to me and asked, knowing this girl from their own past experience, and want me to reconfirm her words, if they are true. I was hate by more than half the school then. I know, though, that she only did all of that to show to people that I'm better than her. Guess she can't stand seeing my happy, having all that she didn't have. She was only after my crushes to prove to herself that she's 'prettier' and more 'desirable' than me. She told my BF/exBF so that I would lose the one guy who loves me so much(though we were not together at the time, and I wasn't cheating on him), and prove that her boyfriend loves her more and buys her more expensive things. On the whole, I have NO idea why she did all that.

To finish it all off, I had a terribly huge fight with my BF/exBF because, it turns out, he was the one who started contacting this girl for 'information' on me(to spy), knowing she's close to me. He contacted 2 girls, but she's the only one who fed him the 'information' about me. If you want to know, in one of my previous posts, I wrote that we didn't talk to each other for 7 months(and nobody could even say his name around me). This is why. Because he went behind my back to 'spy' on me through a girl who wants to see me down. SEVEN whole months, and I thought I would never ever be associated with him again.

This is the first time I write or talk about this incident, fully. I'm still not in talking terms with this girl. I know Shakespereare said 'To err is human; to forgive, divine' but even he won't forgive someone who does this to him. Maybe all I want is a simple apology. Please don't judge the whole of me only on what I write for this entry today. Somehow, I've been keeping it all for too long and I just want to make my side of the story clear. I know some of you might still not agree with me(especially loyal followers of this girl), but I don't care. Life goes on. And I'd say, 'As hard as it gets, I know it's still amazing to be alive'-La Bella Vita.


LoVe~
MzP<3