Another post which I have no idea what to say. No new developments. Wish I could wirte everything here, but you know how some things have to not be revealed to everyone. And that 'some thing' is my parents. I'll digress.
See, I'm still in bed. I wish I don't ever have to get out. The weather's more beautiful than I've seen it in months. And the scent of the air... Mmm... Delightful. I want to go out. I want to bask in the sunlight, feel the cool breeze. I really want to. But everytime, everytime, I can't think of a good enough reason to get out. There's nothing out there.
What is the purpose of holding on another day. Part of me longs for what I previously called home. Part of me knows this is my home now. So why go? Home is where I want to be. But which is it? I can't seem to know what is what anymore.
See? I got back to the topic. Hello?? I'm just so dark and twisted right now.
OK. Let's just get this over and done with.
If my parents don't call me today, I'm not going home. Not. Going. Home.
I don't care if my flight's confirmed. I don't care if they call me tomorrow.
I don't care if I never go home again.
So there.
For once in my life I don't want to do what they tell me to. For once.
And then they do this. They got me into depression. Clinical. And that's worth it? For once, I want them to grow up. Be happy for me. Because even when she did the worst thing, I kept it shut just to see her happy.
If they don't open their eyes and see. If they don't become the bigger person this time round. I would not do it for them one more day. Not for one more day.
LoVe~
MzP<3
30 November 2008
29 November 2008
The City of Angels
Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling
But nothing's greater than the risk that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy
Maybe, maybe
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling
But nothing's greater than the risk that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy
Maybe, maybe
That's Leona Lewis' Bleeding Love.
The song just speaks volumes to me. Why is it that these things are so hard? What is this, Romeo and Juliet? Why is it when things seem so right, it can actually be really wrong?
Wait. What is wrong with me?
OK.
Oh, I'm going to LA. Yay!!! OK, yes I know I've been there, like 8 times, but I still get excited. It's LA. Disneyland. Shopping. Hollywood. It's the whole shit. And I'm going there one more time.
The City of Angels.
Where better to spend my holidays?
I'd better go pack now. LA, people. And I'm going to have the time of my life. I don't care.
So, yes. That's the only thing I'm actually looking forward to these holidays.
Other than that? Nothing else. Not even my birthday. Don't ask why.
Not even Valentine's Day.
So, yeah. LA! It's going to rock my socks. It'll be kick ass. Just you wait. And I'll make sure of it.
LoVe~
MzP<3>
The song just speaks volumes to me. Why is it that these things are so hard? What is this, Romeo and Juliet? Why is it when things seem so right, it can actually be really wrong?
Wait. What is wrong with me?
OK.
Oh, I'm going to LA. Yay!!! OK, yes I know I've been there, like 8 times, but I still get excited. It's LA. Disneyland. Shopping. Hollywood. It's the whole shit. And I'm going there one more time.
The City of Angels.
Where better to spend my holidays?
I'd better go pack now. LA, people. And I'm going to have the time of my life. I don't care.
So, yes. That's the only thing I'm actually looking forward to these holidays.
Other than that? Nothing else. Not even my birthday. Don't ask why.
Not even Valentine's Day.
So, yeah. LA! It's going to rock my socks. It'll be kick ass. Just you wait. And I'll make sure of it.
LoVe~
MzP<3>
28 November 2008
Writings in Bed
This is it. This is the thing.
Raining heavily outside, and all I wanna do is get soaked in the rain.
The rain is a lot of things to me. It's Malaysia: Where I'll be in 3 days.
It's KYS: Many a day, I lie in bed to the sound of the rain.
It's home: Staying on the balcony, looking out.
It's the memories: Some I'll never forget.
Me: Who I used to be. Who I am now. And what I'll be come tomorrow.
Today, I lay in bed the whole day. I can't bring myself to get out. I feel so... bad. I feel sad. Disappointed with myself. I feel loved, though. And I'm missing him like crazy.
It's one of those bad days. Where you just can't face the world. Where it all just seem pointless. It's one of those days where you just feel so alone. Like there's no one.
And then there's going home. I just don't know what to expect anymore. I don't know what to say. I don't know if I ever want to go home anymore. If it's even still home to me.
Will it ever be the same again? Should it be the same again?
But then again, maybe this is exactly what I need. This is me growing up. This is me not looking back. Finally.
I still wonder where I'll be tomorrow. Is it all worth it? Is it what it's supposed to be? Will he still love me? Will I?
Crap. Maybe it's time I got out of bed after all. Wish me luck.
LoVe~
MzP<3
Raining heavily outside, and all I wanna do is get soaked in the rain.
The rain is a lot of things to me. It's Malaysia: Where I'll be in 3 days.
It's KYS: Many a day, I lie in bed to the sound of the rain.
It's home: Staying on the balcony, looking out.
It's the memories: Some I'll never forget.
Me: Who I used to be. Who I am now. And what I'll be come tomorrow.
Today, I lay in bed the whole day. I can't bring myself to get out. I feel so... bad. I feel sad. Disappointed with myself. I feel loved, though. And I'm missing him like crazy.
It's one of those bad days. Where you just can't face the world. Where it all just seem pointless. It's one of those days where you just feel so alone. Like there's no one.
And then there's going home. I just don't know what to expect anymore. I don't know what to say. I don't know if I ever want to go home anymore. If it's even still home to me.
Will it ever be the same again? Should it be the same again?
But then again, maybe this is exactly what I need. This is me growing up. This is me not looking back. Finally.
I still wonder where I'll be tomorrow. Is it all worth it? Is it what it's supposed to be? Will he still love me? Will I?
Crap. Maybe it's time I got out of bed after all. Wish me luck.
LoVe~
MzP<3
23 November 2008
Ivy-ness
Reached home at 5am last night. Or rather, this morning.
Kinda just woke up.
Thank God I'm not the hungover type. Thank God I'm not the alcohol type. Haha.
Yea, Ivy was pretty good. Damn packed but good.
Too bad you missed out. :P
Yes, I haven't been updating my blog at all. See, there's a few reasons for that: First, exams. Shit, it has been so tough. Second, I wanted to get better ideas. Third: Boyfriend. Between trying to feed him and studying for my exams, I'm basically packed.
You know what? Let me tell you a theory of mine I figured out last night. In Ivy.
See, Ivy was jam packed. Basically, you can't walk without walking into someone's crotch. Or being squeezed between two very very grope-y guys. Or into someone's drink which would subsequently spill all over your shoes. (And damn, those were expensive shoes! And I think that girl was just jealous of my shoes.)
And the condition worsens on the dance floor. Now you don't just get people walking into you, you get people thrusting their butt and crotch into you, and grabbing your ass, and tangling themselves in your dress (Yea, I know that wasn't an accident, bastards) - in the name of dancing. And trust (thrust?) me, boy or girl, you're not safe.
And then, in my careful observations (OK, I wasn't drinking, what else can I do?), I realised something. Where everyone else are busy trying to get their body small enough to pass between the couples stuck together, there is a tiny group of people who didn't have any trouble walking through the crowd at all. It's like, the crowd parts for them. Reminiscent to the parting of the red sea. It's like magic. I was like, wow, how did they do it? And they're not just hot chicks with big boobs either (well, I think it gets worse in that case); the group are made of guys. Not even hot guys. Certainly not famous. Didn't even look interesting to me. So I wondered long and hard how they did it.
Until one of them tried to pass by me and my group of friends, where I just squirmed out of the way. Oookayyy. This is his magic: Pervertion (wait, is there such a word???). Basically, he just perverts his way through the crowd. A little touch here, a little bump there. And people would just jump out of their way. And they look perverted enough to pull that stunt. Seriously, feeling his hand on my waist - moving down; and if you were me, you'd jump away too. And then Mr. Sneaky Sneaky would transfer his hands to some other guy's or girl's waist, moving them up or down fitting the situation.
At first, I was angry. And then, I thought, OMG, that guy is just smart. Using your perverted looks for him instead of against him, is just so... ingenious. I mean, not only do you get people to part ways for you, you actually get to touch as many of them as you can in one night. Now how many hot guys out there could claim that??
It's so cool. Now I wish, I have the physical looks necessary to pull that off.
Later then. Oh, and if you decide to use this tactic in a super packed club, tell me how it goes. You might just be the next crowd parting expert.
Later guys.
LoVe~
MzP<3
P.S. This will be a loooong P.S.
Today is the 3 months of me and my baby. 3 months! It's so nice.
So to celebrate, we went to the Sydney opera house, and basically just hang around there. You know, it's deserted at night. Hehe.
But I guess that'll be another post. I love Thaqeef. And today, I'm telling it to the entire world. So sue me.
Kinda just woke up.
Thank God I'm not the hungover type. Thank God I'm not the alcohol type. Haha.
Yea, Ivy was pretty good. Damn packed but good.
Too bad you missed out. :P
Yes, I haven't been updating my blog at all. See, there's a few reasons for that: First, exams. Shit, it has been so tough. Second, I wanted to get better ideas. Third: Boyfriend. Between trying to feed him and studying for my exams, I'm basically packed.
You know what? Let me tell you a theory of mine I figured out last night. In Ivy.
See, Ivy was jam packed. Basically, you can't walk without walking into someone's crotch. Or being squeezed between two very very grope-y guys. Or into someone's drink which would subsequently spill all over your shoes. (And damn, those were expensive shoes! And I think that girl was just jealous of my shoes.)
And the condition worsens on the dance floor. Now you don't just get people walking into you, you get people thrusting their butt and crotch into you, and grabbing your ass, and tangling themselves in your dress (Yea, I know that wasn't an accident, bastards) - in the name of dancing. And trust (thrust?) me, boy or girl, you're not safe.
And then, in my careful observations (OK, I wasn't drinking, what else can I do?), I realised something. Where everyone else are busy trying to get their body small enough to pass between the couples stuck together, there is a tiny group of people who didn't have any trouble walking through the crowd at all. It's like, the crowd parts for them. Reminiscent to the parting of the red sea. It's like magic. I was like, wow, how did they do it? And they're not just hot chicks with big boobs either (well, I think it gets worse in that case); the group are made of guys. Not even hot guys. Certainly not famous. Didn't even look interesting to me. So I wondered long and hard how they did it.
Until one of them tried to pass by me and my group of friends, where I just squirmed out of the way. Oookayyy. This is his magic: Pervertion (wait, is there such a word???). Basically, he just perverts his way through the crowd. A little touch here, a little bump there. And people would just jump out of their way. And they look perverted enough to pull that stunt. Seriously, feeling his hand on my waist - moving down; and if you were me, you'd jump away too. And then Mr. Sneaky Sneaky would transfer his hands to some other guy's or girl's waist, moving them up or down fitting the situation.
At first, I was angry. And then, I thought, OMG, that guy is just smart. Using your perverted looks for him instead of against him, is just so... ingenious. I mean, not only do you get people to part ways for you, you actually get to touch as many of them as you can in one night. Now how many hot guys out there could claim that??
It's so cool. Now I wish, I have the physical looks necessary to pull that off.
Later then. Oh, and if you decide to use this tactic in a super packed club, tell me how it goes. You might just be the next crowd parting expert.
Later guys.
LoVe~
MzP<3
P.S. This will be a loooong P.S.
Today is the 3 months of me and my baby. 3 months! It's so nice.
So to celebrate, we went to the Sydney opera house, and basically just hang around there. You know, it's deserted at night. Hehe.
But I guess that'll be another post. I love Thaqeef. And today, I'm telling it to the entire world. So sue me.
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