Writings in Bed

This is it. This is the thing.

Raining heavily outside, and all I wanna do is get soaked in the rain.

The rain is a lot of things to me. It's Malaysia: Where I'll be in 3 days.

It's KYS: Many a day, I lie in bed to the sound of the rain.

It's home: Staying on the balcony, looking out.

It's the memories: Some I'll never forget.

Me: Who I used to be. Who I am now. And what I'll be come tomorrow.

Today, I lay in bed the whole day. I can't bring myself to get out. I feel so... bad. I feel sad. Disappointed with myself. I feel loved, though. And I'm missing him like crazy.

It's one of those bad days. Where you just can't face the world. Where it all just seem pointless. It's one of those days where you just feel so alone. Like there's no one.

And then there's going home. I just don't know what to expect anymore. I don't know what to say. I don't know if I ever want to go home anymore. If it's even still home to me.

Will it ever be the same again? Should it be the same again?

But then again, maybe this is exactly what I need. This is me growing up. This is me not looking back. Finally.

I still wonder where I'll be tomorrow. Is it all worth it? Is it what it's supposed to be? Will he still love me? Will I?

Crap. Maybe it's time I got out of bed after all. Wish me luck.


LoVe~
MzP<3