Although, I've also been seeking refuge in my diary alot more than in my blog these days. Not because of the privacy, really, but more because... there's something in writing with a pen on nice crisp paper, than typing away on the computer. It just is not too conducive as a creative outlet, you know?
It really has been only 6 weeks or so since I wrote the last blog post. Still, quite abit has changed. For starters, we're moving out soon. Out of Lane Cove : ( We didn't really have a choice though.
And something totally funny: I already have a wedding date. Yes, I do. And, well, my whole wedding is planned out, right down to the flowers, and the colour of my dress (Which in my culture, is not traditionally white). The venue is pretty much decided too. Yay me.
Wanna know the funny thing though? In that beautiful, gorgeous big wedding planned out, there is no groom. As in, I don't even have a prospective husband in sight yet. Not even a... wait for it... boyfriend. Welcome to my life! Minor detail right? LOL
Just wish me luck for my impending wedding date: I'm going to need it! Oh don't worry, it's not till next year. (OK, I do realise that's fairly soon, but let's pretend it's not that bad. You know how 1 month before an exam still feel ages away? Yes, and I do realise I just compared my marriage to an exam. Ergh, kill me now.)
You know what has been driving me crazy?? Whenever I go back home, people keep on asking me whether I have a mat salleh (or white) boyfriend. Like, seriously. What is the big deal with white people? They're normal people, like the rest of us. I mean, if you stayed here for abit, you'd realise not all white Australians look like Hugh Jackman, or Sam Worthington,or Ryan Kwanten. And the ones that do, may not even be worth fighting for.
Also, not being racist or anything, I am just not attracted to white men. If he has blond hair, even less so. I'm just one of those 'Tall, dark and handsome' kind of girl. And when I tell my friends I'm not attracted to white guys, they'd automatically think I only date Malays. See, in this world, there are more than just Malay guys and white guys. And if I don't prefer white guys, doesn't mean I don't prefer any other men in the world. Like Latinos, and blacks and middle easterns. Man, they hot.
OK, it's not like I don't like Malay men. The guy I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with is probably (and preferably) Malay. And I'm more than alright with that.
Although what's worrying is what San said. She said that she has seen alot of pretty Malay girls, but never actually met a good-looking Malay guy. She also said the only Malay guy she knew that was good-looking was mixed (a white parent). The thing is, I did try to prove her wrong... but given my history of ex-boyfriends, I don't have much to say there (Really, one of them's an actor, and even he is not all that good-looking). Then I tried to think of the best place to find handsome guys: celebrities (you know, movie stars and models), and I can't think of one that is truly good-looking. I mean, Hans Isaac is not exactly Malay, is he? And yeah, the rest are mixed.
Oh it hits me now. THAT'S why you guys are so obsessed with white people: because really, the Malays we know that are very good-looking, they're all mixed (probably with white, right?). Ergh.
Seriously, help me prove San wrong, will ya? And give me a name of a Malay guy that is very good-looking. Someone not mixed, please?
And really my friends, alot of people worldwide do think Malay girls are gorgeous. I have friends who talk about their friends' Malay girlfriends with envy, no joke. So seriously, if that boyfriend of yours don't appreciate you, guess what? There are plenty more fish in the sea. Or across the seas. :)
So why am I so intent on having my 'Happily Ever After' with a Malay guy, then? That's easy. Because essentially who they are, and what's in their hearts, appeal to me more than their looks. Also generally, culture-wise, I know I'll be alot more comfortable with a Malay guy. Still not being racist or anything, promise!
I do realise this post could be interpreted differently than what I intend it to. I seriously do not mean to cause any harm, or to insult anyone in particular. Or even any race in particular. Especially white guys... Really, I don't see anything wrong with them, the heart just wants what it wants OK? Haha. And saying that, I have gone out with dates with some of them, just never interested in going past that.
I guess what I have to say (although it's seriously concealed) is that it doesn't really matter if I ultimately have a white boyfriend, or a Malay boyfriend, or a Latino boyfriend, or a black boyfriend. What really matters is what's in their hearts, and who they are as a person right? Gosh, now I sound preachy. Whatever. As long as you don't think I'm inferior to the girl who does have a white BF. It's a choice, people. Really.
LoVe~
MzP<3