Xuxa

I'm not all peaches and cream you know.
I do have a darker side.
And believe me, you don't wanna know about it.

That was what the devil said in Bedazzled. And somehow, that is true for me too. I've been writing in this blog for 2 years now. And I think it's time.

Yes, me, the girl in pink, the little one, have a darker side. And trust me, it's real dark.

It's time to introduce you to her. My darker side. My alter ego.

Her name is Xuxa.
The name itself is all that.
The female version of Xerxes.

Xuxa is the evil part of me.
The part that loves black.
And gray.
And blood red.

Xuxa rarely speaks.
She's the part of me that loves vampires.
That loves to witness things gory.
That not only stands the sight of blood.
But also loves it.
Craves for it.

Xuxa would be the one betraying you.
She would do things bad.
And she'll glory in it.
Leaving me to pick up some pieces.
But she delights in it.
And loves it.
And won't stop if I let her.

Xuxa wants to take over the world.
In that way.
She's a damn good liar.
And she cheats.
And she'll make you bow down low.

Xuxa doesn't love, she lusts.
In fact, she doesn't believe in love.
Xuxa is smart.
Loves revenge.
And would screw you over if she wants to.

Xuxa's favourite songs are the screaming ones.
Xuxa loves disturbing images.
Xuxa would decorate the room black if I let her.

Xuxa doesn't know regret.
She's alone.
Her 'friends' are just followers.
And she likes it that way.

Xuxa is the reason for my bad boys.
She can't stand good boys.
She hates commitment.
And she doesn't believe in fidelity.

Xuxa doesn't think much of men.
She can live without them.
They're just her toys.

Xuxa hates people.
Can't stand them.

Xuxa's stares could kill.
She knows people who could do damage to you.
And she's not afraid to use it.
And she'll be smart enough to hide it.

Xuxa rebels.
And she breaks the rules.
But she studies them before she does.

Xuxa scares me sometimes.
But she lays dormant.
Waiting for times to be released.
And reasons.

Then there are times she comes out.
Without warning.
Intertwining with me.
But never fully out.

Xuxa knows things.
Her intuition is great.

But she still listens to me.
And she stays in me.
She'll never go away.
Because Xuxa is me in a way.
And that'll never change.

Yes, she sounds bad, but that's just the way she is. Xuxa is also the strength in me in situations I can't handle otherwise. She comes out when my mind is blank with rage. She comes out when one person hurts me. She comes out when I can't deal with it anymore. And she will.

You see, I can't and won't get rid of her. I admire her, in a way. But she's always under control. I've never let her fully out. Because although it's exhilirating to be her for one day, it'll do damage beyond my wildest imaginations.

We all know the magnitude of damage she is capable of. So yes, know her. Be aware of her. Because she is there. And she exists.

Warn me if I let her out too much. Her power could be addictive.

So now you know Xuxa. Pleasure knowing her huh? At least you know now that I do have a darker side. And that with Xuxa, what I am capable of.



LoVe~
MzP<3

-XuXa-