Draught of One World

Today, I felt so angry that my mind went blank.

Have you ever felt that kind of anger before? The kind where you just can't think anymore. The kind where all you want to do is scream bloody murder.

Thing is, I don't know really, who to direct the anger at. But I chose one person. Because the situation was actually under control until said person went and dug up the grave again.

First things first. YES, I have a new boyfriend. Get over it already. No, I'm not with 'that guy' anymore. And no, you don't need to know what happened. Seriously. What's the big deal?

STOP asking what happened to BF/exBF. Stop it. It's annoying. I mean, would've you have liked it if I asked you about your ex? And what happened beteween you guys?

And the thing that bothers me the most. STOP GOING TO MY MOM ABOUT IT!!! God, is it so hard for you to get a life and mind your own business? I mean, if you have a new BF or GF, do I actually ask your mom about it? Or talk to her about what you guys have been doing? No! Unless I purposely want to get you killed.

Which I now come to a conclusion. This person only did that to get me killed. She did it because she knows my mom doesn't like it. She knows it would trigger anger. God, what is this, jealousy? Or just one of those people who wants to watch the world burn?

Now, I am actually considering deleting my Facebook. It's not worth it anymore. They're abusing it. It's seriously not worth it. Seriously.

But. Deleting Facebook is not that simple. I mean, I just wrote my decision on FB, and guess what? President of MSA commented on how I'm the only social director. Oh no. I guess the decision is bigger than me now. What's the world coming to when you can't even delete your own social network page???

And then, I also thought of how if I want to delete my Facebook, I'd probably delete my blog as well, to get maximum effectiveness.

And then I think. OMG, I won't even exist in the cyber world anymore. Damn.

But then if existing in the cyber world could cause this much strife on my real world, then maybe I should. I mean, obviously, I would protect my real world more. Duh...

But then again, if my decisions on cyber world is going to affect me a lot in the real world, maybe I shouldn't. Like, if deleting FB is going to affect my job as a social director of MSA, maybe I shouldn't do it.

So tell me, guys.

You know what? I always wish I could trust more people. But I also have always understood people's actions the way they are. I always understand why some people betray me. I don't question if I get backstabbed. I usually just feel hurt, accept it an dmove on. No need contemplating it because if we cut off ties with everyone who hurt us, we would be very alone in this world indeed. And I also know that there are times that I hurt people too. It's just part and parcel of life. That we hurt each other. But we try our best, don't we? We do things we believe to be right. We have faith. We believe. We still trust. I do know most of us has the best intentions at heart. That most of us didn't mean to hurt anyone. That we wouldn't want to if given a choice. (OK, I might seem a little optimistic and naive, but bear with me). And then there are those other people. The other people who knows what they're doing hurts someone else and yet they do it. Time and time and time again. The people who are actually vicious enough to want to hurt other people. Who mean it. Those are the people I can't comprehend. In hurting and destroying other people, it doesn't give you anything. You don't gain. The temporary satisfaction is just that: temporary. Believe me, if you constantly do this, you need help. Mentally and emotionally. Like, right away.

Yes, I do know, though, that the existence of these people make up the colourful world we live in. I do know not to question things too much. But I still feel hurt. I know I should just endure it, though. It won't stop. It is, after all, a part of life.

But sometimes, just once or twice, I'd like to say something about it. And even if that could make even one person realise their mistake, I guess I made a difference in the world. If it could prevent another person from being hurt, that's good enough.

In the meantime, please say a little prayer for me. For I've just entered a draught. And it's going to last for a long, long time. And I'll be waiting for my small sip of water. It'll come, I know. Sooner or later.


LoVe~
MzP<3