Somewhere I Belong

For the first time in my life, ever, I finally feel at home.

Two years in Australia made me feel so much more at home than 20 years in Malaysia. Funny, and weird but true.

And this fact I just realised today.

After all those years for feeling like I never quite belonged anywhere, this is a refreshing revelation.

This is me. The way I am. Who I am. And I like it immensely. No, I love it.



And guess what? I can now listen to 'our' song and not burst into tears anymore. In fact it's playing right now, and eventhough I could recall the sweet memories, I do not long for it anymore. I could finally smile at the memories. Smile because they happened.

And maybe someday, I would like to fall deeply and undeniably in love again. I would wait for that time to come, and this time I would embrace it without hesitation.



Anyhow. Have we all know about my beloved Emilio? *Squealing in delight*

Yes, he's my male Siamese fighting fish I keep in a bourbon bowl on my bedside table. I love my Emilio. I named him after Emilio Pucci for his colours remind me of Pucci's designs.

And yesterday, I found a fighting fish so beautiful, I could not ever imagine not having him. His colours are of nice pink and white beautifully coloured to resemble a soft alluring floral silk dress. He's so beautiful, I knew I had to have him there and then. I knew I can't sleep until I have him.

We stood there in the shop for about an hour coming up with a name for him. Names like Lagerfeld, Gianni, Oscar, Alexander and lots of other designers came up. But of course only one name suits him Valentino.

And I would say that he is as exquisite as a Valentino gown. maybe even more so.


And today, I will own him. And he will be Emilio's new friend. Or maybe the appropriate word is 'buddy' since fighting fish don't need or want friends.

And even Sandrine found a gorgeous bright red one. One she wants to name Hercules.

I really hope we both will have a fish when we leave today.


Yes, did I tell you? We're getting my beloved Valentino today!!!!




Oh, so and what happened to the Hot Chocolate at 10am? Wow. I swear it put me in a good mood the whole day. I was practically singing!!

But that night, things took a turn. Which is keeping me very very disturbed. I have noooo idea what is happening. Or if anything is happening. I'm just confused. Very. At least give me a sign!


I will never know myself until I do this on my own
Cuz I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away
I'll find myself today



LoVe~
MzP<3