Happy New Year, guys.
Sometimes time moves too fast for words.
But I still wish words would never fail me.
I would list all the moments of 2008. And I would cherish them all.
525,600 minutes.
Love you guys... for another year.
Muah. Mwah. Muax.
LoVe~
MzP<3
31 December 2008
20 December 2008
Think
I've been thinking quite alot lately. More than usual.
I don't really like to think too much.
You know how thinking goes. One thing leads to another. And then, you start to question things. Question life. Then you question the higher things. And then you just about go crazy because you make your own conclusions because no other conclusions can be made that makes much sense, do you know what I mean, or don't you?
And then you'd feel depressed.
There's only so much a human's mind can take. And it's not alot, I can tell you.
So mostly, I shut off thoughts. I mean, I don't care if by thinking I can solve the next mystery of the world. I just won't do too much of it. Besides, someone else can solve the next mystery. I'm not up for the job.
There are no boundaries when we think, is there? And yet, there are alot of limitations.
And see, I'm the only one who can actually think of thinking itself.
Sometimes, I feel (trying not to use 'think' here) that I prefer becoming more bimbo-like. Well, not a bimbo per say. Just bimbo-like. For sometimes choosing between Vogue and The Economist can just keep me reeling, and I would definitely end up with Vogue. I love economics. But when I pick up the magazine, I just can't see any other point to it. And knowledge can come in many forms, depending on which life you lead, or what you believe. So yes, I know what the multiplier effect is, and I know who is Akerloff. But probably that information is less valuable to one person than it is to another. And who's to say I'd be any less smarter if I pick up Vogue.
That is also the reason I read chick-lit instead of hardcore classic literature. Or why I'd be more interested in conversations detailing some gossip than what's the economic pros and cons of the Kyoto protocol. Not that I don't have my own arguments. But possibly a part of me is just sick of people trying to prove in vain that they're better than the other, with so-called 'intellectual' arguments. In reality, I know in the end, people will only hear what they want to hear than what's really being said.
LoVe~
MzP<3
I don't really like to think too much.
You know how thinking goes. One thing leads to another. And then, you start to question things. Question life. Then you question the higher things. And then you just about go crazy because you make your own conclusions because no other conclusions can be made that makes much sense, do you know what I mean, or don't you?
And then you'd feel depressed.
There's only so much a human's mind can take. And it's not alot, I can tell you.
So mostly, I shut off thoughts. I mean, I don't care if by thinking I can solve the next mystery of the world. I just won't do too much of it. Besides, someone else can solve the next mystery. I'm not up for the job.
There are no boundaries when we think, is there? And yet, there are alot of limitations.
And see, I'm the only one who can actually think of thinking itself.
Sometimes, I feel (trying not to use 'think' here) that I prefer becoming more bimbo-like. Well, not a bimbo per say. Just bimbo-like. For sometimes choosing between Vogue and The Economist can just keep me reeling, and I would definitely end up with Vogue. I love economics. But when I pick up the magazine, I just can't see any other point to it. And knowledge can come in many forms, depending on which life you lead, or what you believe. So yes, I know what the multiplier effect is, and I know who is Akerloff. But probably that information is less valuable to one person than it is to another. And who's to say I'd be any less smarter if I pick up Vogue.
That is also the reason I read chick-lit instead of hardcore classic literature. Or why I'd be more interested in conversations detailing some gossip than what's the economic pros and cons of the Kyoto protocol. Not that I don't have my own arguments. But possibly a part of me is just sick of people trying to prove in vain that they're better than the other, with so-called 'intellectual' arguments. In reality, I know in the end, people will only hear what they want to hear than what's really being said.
LoVe~
MzP<3
17 December 2008
Gift Guide Part 2
Early morning. I woke up before dawn today. Seriously. Literally. No kidding. And no, not my definition of dawn (9am). The real dawn.
Sat in bed eating some nice Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Mmmm. This is life right here.
I promised that I'll write about thoughtful gifts on my next post right? So I guess here it is.
(Oh, and Lady Gaga's Poker Face is so cool)
First of all, I'm not going to list all the thoughtful gifts here. Instead, I'll just tell you how. How to get a nice thoughtful gift.
Thing is, if it's a girl you're giving this to, and you love her, I'll bet you'd know alot about her. I mean, you should. Simple things, like her favourite colour, her favourite food, her hobbies, her favourite anything. Ask. You should know, you know.
It's so easy when you know. If she likes to paint, an easel is a great gift. If she loves music, a collection of CDs is good. A person who likes to read? Umm... Well, don't get normal books because everyone else would too. Instead, scour the used bookshops. Other than being obviously cheap, there are bound to be books dating back to the 1800s and most have sweet messages written inside, for someone else long ago. Get that. At least you'll know, even if she has the book already, she doesn't have the inscriptions, knowing the book meant something to someone once upon a time.
Things like that.
And then there are gifts you make yourself. If you're good at making things, why not make something for her? Surely no one else would be able to give anything better than that. Or design something for her, and make it a reality. Or get someone to make something one off. Anya Hindmarch handbag with her baby picture on it, anyone? Mmm... sweet, but kinda pricey, I know. Or build her a dollhouse (if she's that kind of person, that is) and paint it in her favourite colour.
If you know her hobbies, it's even easier. Give her something associated with it, you know, like the examples I gave above.
I've met men who asks me if women really go for money. Well, usually, I don't really know what to say. Most of my girlfriends would choose love than money. But men, they still don't believe.
Then why do women always love expensive gifts? Thing is, women know men pretty well. And we know what money is to men. It's power. It's status. It's security. Money means a lot to men, we know. They love money. They measure themselves with money. And we all know it's hard to part with something we love right. So when men give expensive gifts, it means something. It shows they wouldn't mind parting with something else they love because they love us more. It shows money is second to them. It shows how far men will go to make us happy. And when a guy doesn't mind being financially ruined by a woman, it just shows that he would give the world to her if he could. So yes, women do like expensive gifts. But mostly, not for reasons you believe.
And, umm, we do like the gifts too... Hehe...
So yes, thoughtful gifts.
Maybe all you have to do is give her a small key and tell her she holds the key to your heart. Maybe you can get nice small pieces of paper and wrote 365 things you love about her, for everyday of the year. Better yet, make a map and get her to find you, at a nice place. Cook for her. That is, other than spaghetti bolognaise or mac n cheese please. Maybe find out her perfect dates and make it happen for her.
Flowers are nice too. I don't care if you men think it's useless giving flowers because they die anyway. But the fact is, flowers could make a lot of girls happy. You don't need to understand the science of it. Just give them the freaking flowers and make their day. It is just another one of those things in life you don't question.
Keep in mind, though, that if she looks like she would enjoy one thing, she might already have plenty of that thing. So yeah, like, she might look like the type who likes cute teddy bears, and a million people might know this, so she might already have a million teddy bears as gifts. So nothing too predictable OK. It just shows that you don't know her anymore than the average person, and that sure is frustrating.
There are millions of possibilities. And the internet could be a good source of information for ideas.
Try my favourite florist sites: Giftlab and Malaysia Petals. Well, both deliver in Malaysia. From another country? Google it. I'm sure it's pretty easy to find.
I'll just leave you from here onwards.
But remember, if all else fails, jewelry won't go wrong. Well, most of the time anyway.
LoVe~
MzP<3>
Sat in bed eating some nice Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Mmmm. This is life right here.
I promised that I'll write about thoughtful gifts on my next post right? So I guess here it is.
(Oh, and Lady Gaga's Poker Face is so cool)
First of all, I'm not going to list all the thoughtful gifts here. Instead, I'll just tell you how. How to get a nice thoughtful gift.
Thing is, if it's a girl you're giving this to, and you love her, I'll bet you'd know alot about her. I mean, you should. Simple things, like her favourite colour, her favourite food, her hobbies, her favourite anything. Ask. You should know, you know.
It's so easy when you know. If she likes to paint, an easel is a great gift. If she loves music, a collection of CDs is good. A person who likes to read? Umm... Well, don't get normal books because everyone else would too. Instead, scour the used bookshops. Other than being obviously cheap, there are bound to be books dating back to the 1800s and most have sweet messages written inside, for someone else long ago. Get that. At least you'll know, even if she has the book already, she doesn't have the inscriptions, knowing the book meant something to someone once upon a time.
Things like that.
And then there are gifts you make yourself. If you're good at making things, why not make something for her? Surely no one else would be able to give anything better than that. Or design something for her, and make it a reality. Or get someone to make something one off. Anya Hindmarch handbag with her baby picture on it, anyone? Mmm... sweet, but kinda pricey, I know. Or build her a dollhouse (if she's that kind of person, that is) and paint it in her favourite colour.
If you know her hobbies, it's even easier. Give her something associated with it, you know, like the examples I gave above.
I've met men who asks me if women really go for money. Well, usually, I don't really know what to say. Most of my girlfriends would choose love than money. But men, they still don't believe.
Then why do women always love expensive gifts? Thing is, women know men pretty well. And we know what money is to men. It's power. It's status. It's security. Money means a lot to men, we know. They love money. They measure themselves with money. And we all know it's hard to part with something we love right. So when men give expensive gifts, it means something. It shows they wouldn't mind parting with something else they love because they love us more. It shows money is second to them. It shows how far men will go to make us happy. And when a guy doesn't mind being financially ruined by a woman, it just shows that he would give the world to her if he could. So yes, women do like expensive gifts. But mostly, not for reasons you believe.
And, umm, we do like the gifts too... Hehe...
So yes, thoughtful gifts.
Maybe all you have to do is give her a small key and tell her she holds the key to your heart. Maybe you can get nice small pieces of paper and wrote 365 things you love about her, for everyday of the year. Better yet, make a map and get her to find you, at a nice place. Cook for her. That is, other than spaghetti bolognaise or mac n cheese please. Maybe find out her perfect dates and make it happen for her.
Flowers are nice too. I don't care if you men think it's useless giving flowers because they die anyway. But the fact is, flowers could make a lot of girls happy. You don't need to understand the science of it. Just give them the freaking flowers and make their day. It is just another one of those things in life you don't question.
Keep in mind, though, that if she looks like she would enjoy one thing, she might already have plenty of that thing. So yeah, like, she might look like the type who likes cute teddy bears, and a million people might know this, so she might already have a million teddy bears as gifts. So nothing too predictable OK. It just shows that you don't know her anymore than the average person, and that sure is frustrating.
There are millions of possibilities. And the internet could be a good source of information for ideas.
Try my favourite florist sites: Giftlab and Malaysia Petals. Well, both deliver in Malaysia. From another country? Google it. I'm sure it's pretty easy to find.
I'll just leave you from here onwards.
But remember, if all else fails, jewelry won't go wrong. Well, most of the time anyway.
LoVe~
MzP<3>
16 December 2008
Gift Guide for Men
I'm at some... Bukit Kiara Club thing. By the pool. Wish I brought my bikini though, been a long time since I last swam.
Recently I read an article in a magazine. On the plane. Cleo, I think. The article was written by a guy, telling girls to give a clue about what they want as presents. You know, birthdays, christmas and such. He was all like, "Please give us a clue about what you want. And don't make it too subtle too." Writing about how men has no idea what women want, and for us to make their job easier for them.
First of all, thing is, I don't really agree with him. It is pretty easy to get women gifts, you know. I mean, if all else fails, get jewelery. C'mon, even a fool could figure that out, right? We're talking diamonds, platinum, gold, pearls. And not those plated stuff either. And not silver, to be safe. Trust me, you just can't go wrong with jewelry. If you don't want them to get the wrong idea, just stay away from diamonds.
What's that I hear? Out of budget? Ha. Haha. Ha. Wait, why do you have a girlfriend again? Nah, kidding. Have you guys actually seen jewelry these days? Rings could go as low as RM100. And instead of buying that RM350 perfume that probably stinks anyway, you could definitely get a ring or a pendant for that much.
And silver is not that bad either, actually. I mean, just not for me since I have allergies to everything not gold. Get engraved rings, with your name engraved on the inside, for extra thought. And extra romantic effect. Just don't engrave faces. Spell T-A-C-K-Y.
Jewelry is equivalent to technology for men. Men would probably crave for the latest phone or laptop or iPod. And they're all expensive as well, don't lie to us.
OK fine, not all are keen with giving jewelry. I get it.
The thing is, there are only two things that girls would appreciate when received. a) expensive things or b) thoughtful things. It has got to be either one. If it's not expensive or thoughtful, don't bother. And if you, like the guy who wrote the magazine article, wouldn't want to give it much thought, shell out for something expensive. The less thought you put into it, the more expensive the gift should be. Take it from me. If you're broke (hint!) you have no choice but to put a lot of effort and thought into the gift.
But take it from me, if you love her, that shouldn't be a problem at all. For we all know the best gift is one that shows how much you know someone. And who would know you better than someone who loves you? Right? Right? Right?
And girls. If you really really want a surprise from your guy, just guide him in the right direction. We all know how clueless and hopeless guys are, and I doubt it's about to change anytime soon. So, sometimes, just give him a break, drag him to that Chanel store, tell him how much you loooooovvveeee that handbag (just one, you don't wanna confuse him). Trust me, when he gets it for you, he'll think it's a very clever surprise on his part. *wink *wink
So for thoughtful gifts? Next post.
Till then, I hope you find the jewelry store fun. And bear in mind, we do know the difference between zircons and diamonds. Or at least our friend who works at the jewelry store does. So, no cheating!
LoVe~
MzP<3
Recently I read an article in a magazine. On the plane. Cleo, I think. The article was written by a guy, telling girls to give a clue about what they want as presents. You know, birthdays, christmas and such. He was all like, "Please give us a clue about what you want. And don't make it too subtle too." Writing about how men has no idea what women want, and for us to make their job easier for them.
First of all, thing is, I don't really agree with him. It is pretty easy to get women gifts, you know. I mean, if all else fails, get jewelery. C'mon, even a fool could figure that out, right? We're talking diamonds, platinum, gold, pearls. And not those plated stuff either. And not silver, to be safe. Trust me, you just can't go wrong with jewelry. If you don't want them to get the wrong idea, just stay away from diamonds.
What's that I hear? Out of budget? Ha. Haha. Ha. Wait, why do you have a girlfriend again? Nah, kidding. Have you guys actually seen jewelry these days? Rings could go as low as RM100. And instead of buying that RM350 perfume that probably stinks anyway, you could definitely get a ring or a pendant for that much.
And silver is not that bad either, actually. I mean, just not for me since I have allergies to everything not gold. Get engraved rings, with your name engraved on the inside, for extra thought. And extra romantic effect. Just don't engrave faces. Spell T-A-C-K-Y.
Jewelry is equivalent to technology for men. Men would probably crave for the latest phone or laptop or iPod. And they're all expensive as well, don't lie to us.
OK fine, not all are keen with giving jewelry. I get it.
The thing is, there are only two things that girls would appreciate when received. a) expensive things or b) thoughtful things. It has got to be either one. If it's not expensive or thoughtful, don't bother. And if you, like the guy who wrote the magazine article, wouldn't want to give it much thought, shell out for something expensive. The less thought you put into it, the more expensive the gift should be. Take it from me. If you're broke (hint!) you have no choice but to put a lot of effort and thought into the gift.
But take it from me, if you love her, that shouldn't be a problem at all. For we all know the best gift is one that shows how much you know someone. And who would know you better than someone who loves you? Right? Right? Right?
And girls. If you really really want a surprise from your guy, just guide him in the right direction. We all know how clueless and hopeless guys are, and I doubt it's about to change anytime soon. So, sometimes, just give him a break, drag him to that Chanel store, tell him how much you loooooovvveeee that handbag (just one, you don't wanna confuse him). Trust me, when he gets it for you, he'll think it's a very clever surprise on his part. *wink *wink
So for thoughtful gifts? Next post.
Till then, I hope you find the jewelry store fun. And bear in mind, we do know the difference between zircons and diamonds. Or at least our friend who works at the jewelry store does. So, no cheating!
LoVe~
MzP<3
Need a Clue?
This is probably my favourite line in a movie/series.
"Okay guy in need of a clue. Here's one.
Women send signals, and that was brush off.
Before you dip into your shallow pool of wit, let me paint us a picture and save us both the trouble.
Here's your evening. You are gonna sling back to your buddies, laugh this off, get wasted, go home, and make nice with yourself.
But don't be thinking of me. Because even your fantasy of me isn't interested in you."
It's from Brooke, One Tree Hill.
Tell me that is not the coolest thing ever.
Points for style!
LoVe~
MzP<3
"Okay guy in need of a clue. Here's one.
Women send signals, and that was brush off.
Before you dip into your shallow pool of wit, let me paint us a picture and save us both the trouble.
Here's your evening. You are gonna sling back to your buddies, laugh this off, get wasted, go home, and make nice with yourself.
But don't be thinking of me. Because even your fantasy of me isn't interested in you."
It's from Brooke, One Tree Hill.
Tell me that is not the coolest thing ever.
Points for style!
LoVe~
MzP<3
Summer Boredome
I spent practically the whole day today figuring out why HDTV plays on my Windows Media Center on my laptop and not somene else's Window Media Center on ther laptop. Despite both our laptops being practically the same VAIO (Infact, hers is a slightly newer version - like, a few months later than mine).
And trust me, it's so much more tiring than it seems. So tiring in fact, I fell asleep so early.
No, I refuse to pin it on jet lag. Have been sleeping OK since I got back.
I have, for quite some time ago, gave up on the HDTV thing and is now downloading a new player that actually supports it. And that wait is killing me. Maybe I should just throw the laptop out of my balcony. Hehe.
Other than that, I'm sitting here waiting for him to call. Hopeless.
Hey, anyone out there wants to go out tomorrow? One more day at home might just drive me crazyyyy. Let's go mamak. Yes, mamak. It's been so long since I ate there! Any takers?
Other than that...
I got into Summer School!!! Yes, I'm going for summer school. Yay me.
This subject I'm taking would actually accelerate my uni time by a whole semester. Cool or what?
And it starts on the 5th.
So I'll be back in Sydney by then.
So see you guys in Sydney!!!
LoVe~
MzP<3
And trust me, it's so much more tiring than it seems. So tiring in fact, I fell asleep so early.
No, I refuse to pin it on jet lag. Have been sleeping OK since I got back.
I have, for quite some time ago, gave up on the HDTV thing and is now downloading a new player that actually supports it. And that wait is killing me. Maybe I should just throw the laptop out of my balcony. Hehe.
Other than that, I'm sitting here waiting for him to call. Hopeless.
Hey, anyone out there wants to go out tomorrow? One more day at home might just drive me crazyyyy. Let's go mamak. Yes, mamak. It's been so long since I ate there! Any takers?
Other than that...
I got into Summer School!!! Yes, I'm going for summer school. Yay me.
This subject I'm taking would actually accelerate my uni time by a whole semester. Cool or what?
And it starts on the 5th.
So I'll be back in Sydney by then.
So see you guys in Sydney!!!
LoVe~
MzP<3
Angels' Shopping
(3rd day in LA)
Another day in The City of Angels. Yum.
Went shopping today, and wow, did I have fun.
Juicy Couture, Rock & Republic, Aigner, Calvin Klein, True Religion, DKNY, Armani, Nine West, Polo, Tommy Hilfigier, Ed Hardy, and the list goes on and on and on. Eat your heart out, people!
I bought, like, so much stuff!
Right now, can't sleep. Listening to If I Ain't Got You on iTunes. Over and over again. Reminds me of him. Mmmm...
Okay, back to topic.
I bought wallet, shoes, jeans, bag, clothes, underwear... stuff I can't even list here.
And I love love all the stuff I just bought. Like, love love. More than I love my BF. Joke, baby. Hehe. Love you! (Though I am ignoring your smses right now...).
LA has been... good. Not great, exactly. Could have had more fun. Restricted, though.
And yes, you are non dairy creamer to me.
OMG, and Katy Perry's Ur So Gay is coooool. Listen to it. Seriously. Umm... is it too weird to say it reminds me of someone? Haha. Yea, but who exactly, I'll just keep that to myself.
Alright, I'm finally sleepy. Will update when I'm back in Malaysia. (And will kill you if you sms the same things again!)
LoVe~
MzP<3
09 December 2008
Thoughts in Cali
Guess where I am? Right, LA!!!
Had only been a day. Fun so far? Hmmm... not too bad. Disneyland was OK if wasn't a little bit too quick. We had to cramp everything up and didn't even have time to go souvenir shopping - which is part of the whole fun!
Tomorrow: Universal Studios.
The next day: Shopping!!!!! (Yes, that deserves five exclamation marks)
Wish I had someone my age around though. Then maybe right now I would be somewhere much more fun. I mean, not in this room, alone, writing my blog in this one hour time frame of the only internet access I have. Pathetic, I know.
No matter. Tomorrow is a new day.
Weirdly enough i've been having lots of dreams lately. Not really good dreams, but not nightmares either. They're just there everytime I close my eyes. And some feel so real, they scare me.
I wonder what's the significance of all these dreams. I barely remember them actually. But I wonder why they suddenly appear, after all those nights of dreamless sleep. Is something disturbing my train of thought? Is it something physical? Am I not well? Or is it some side effect of any medication I'm not aware of?
But then again, maybe I'm just missing someone.
One question though: If you ever found something true, something real, would you ever give it up for the possibility of something better? Or the promise of something better?
I don't know. Will I be lucky again? Or will I just be pushing my luck too far this time.
But what if this thing is also so... wrong?
I wonder, would Romeo and Juliet find something better if they just moved on and not killed themselves? Would they be happier? They were so young after all.
Or is that kind of love once in a lifetime and should be embraced whether it's wrong or right? Tell me, please.
Times up!
LoVe~
MzP<3
Had only been a day. Fun so far? Hmmm... not too bad. Disneyland was OK if wasn't a little bit too quick. We had to cramp everything up and didn't even have time to go souvenir shopping - which is part of the whole fun!
Tomorrow: Universal Studios.
The next day: Shopping!!!!! (Yes, that deserves five exclamation marks)
Wish I had someone my age around though. Then maybe right now I would be somewhere much more fun. I mean, not in this room, alone, writing my blog in this one hour time frame of the only internet access I have. Pathetic, I know.
No matter. Tomorrow is a new day.
Weirdly enough i've been having lots of dreams lately. Not really good dreams, but not nightmares either. They're just there everytime I close my eyes. And some feel so real, they scare me.
I wonder what's the significance of all these dreams. I barely remember them actually. But I wonder why they suddenly appear, after all those nights of dreamless sleep. Is something disturbing my train of thought? Is it something physical? Am I not well? Or is it some side effect of any medication I'm not aware of?
But then again, maybe I'm just missing someone.
One question though: If you ever found something true, something real, would you ever give it up for the possibility of something better? Or the promise of something better?
I don't know. Will I be lucky again? Or will I just be pushing my luck too far this time.
But what if this thing is also so... wrong?
I wonder, would Romeo and Juliet find something better if they just moved on and not killed themselves? Would they be happier? They were so young after all.
Or is that kind of love once in a lifetime and should be embraced whether it's wrong or right? Tell me, please.
Times up!
LoVe~
MzP<3
05 December 2008
Future
Back to bed.
Watched an old movie today. The CDs my baby gave me. That was good.
Played badminton. BADminton. Cos I'm just so bad at it, it's embarrassing. I mean, no one's bad at badminton. NO ONE!
As uneventful as today was, I'm still happy. Going to see him tomorrow. Yeay!!!
Sometimes I really want to know what the future holds. And sometimes I really don't.
Knowing would be nice. Knowing would prepare me. Then maybe I'd stop wasting my time trying to get things I'll never get and start spending more time on things I will surely get.
But not knowing would be sweet. Surprises, they're sweet. Not knowing what's coming makes you treasure what you have more. Alot more. And when good things come, it'll be the sweetest surprise life could offer. Sweet and simple.
Then there are times when it's just driving me crazy. Times when I know part of the future but not all. When I know my dad will be angry but I don't know why. When I know a friend would betray me but I don't know how. When I know that drink would spill but I don't know how to avoid it.
It makes me think sometimes, the future, is it written in stone? Is it really changeable? Or is it not? If I be nice now, I know it will change my future, but is it written that I would be nice? Or is that something only I decide?
I keep on thinking, but I know I'm not supposed to. I'm not supposed to think too much about the powers that be. I know, I know.
You know what? Someone did predict my future for me once. Last year.
And so far, I think some wasn't right. But I can't be too sure. Thing is, I wanted some to be right, and others, not so much.
So that's why I want to know so much about the future. Not my future, exactly, but what the future really is. I'd like to know.
Because there are times where the present is where I really am and really want to be. But there are times when I just can't bring myself to just be at the present. There are times when it is all about the past and the future. When right now is the illusion and the rest is the reality.
Gosh, I'm rambling.
But actually right now all I want to do is stare into his eyes. And stare at them forever.
LoVe~
MzP<3
Watched an old movie today. The CDs my baby gave me. That was good.
Played badminton. BADminton. Cos I'm just so bad at it, it's embarrassing. I mean, no one's bad at badminton. NO ONE!
As uneventful as today was, I'm still happy. Going to see him tomorrow. Yeay!!!
Sometimes I really want to know what the future holds. And sometimes I really don't.
Knowing would be nice. Knowing would prepare me. Then maybe I'd stop wasting my time trying to get things I'll never get and start spending more time on things I will surely get.
But not knowing would be sweet. Surprises, they're sweet. Not knowing what's coming makes you treasure what you have more. Alot more. And when good things come, it'll be the sweetest surprise life could offer. Sweet and simple.
Then there are times when it's just driving me crazy. Times when I know part of the future but not all. When I know my dad will be angry but I don't know why. When I know a friend would betray me but I don't know how. When I know that drink would spill but I don't know how to avoid it.
It makes me think sometimes, the future, is it written in stone? Is it really changeable? Or is it not? If I be nice now, I know it will change my future, but is it written that I would be nice? Or is that something only I decide?
I keep on thinking, but I know I'm not supposed to. I'm not supposed to think too much about the powers that be. I know, I know.
You know what? Someone did predict my future for me once. Last year.
And so far, I think some wasn't right. But I can't be too sure. Thing is, I wanted some to be right, and others, not so much.
So that's why I want to know so much about the future. Not my future, exactly, but what the future really is. I'd like to know.
Because there are times where the present is where I really am and really want to be. But there are times when I just can't bring myself to just be at the present. There are times when it is all about the past and the future. When right now is the illusion and the rest is the reality.
Gosh, I'm rambling.
But actually right now all I want to do is stare into his eyes. And stare at them forever.
LoVe~
MzP<3
04 December 2008
Beautiful Dates
Yesterday was so... nice.
Got to meet him. Oh my God, it had been awhile since I saw him.
Can't believe when I meet him again I'd be... shy. Then I realised how deeply I've fallen.
And then I felt... confused. You know why, sayang.
And then here I am again. This is where I end up again: In bed. Alone. Where I have been for the past week.
Now I'm thinking of nice dates. Perfect dates.
Ice cream date. A scoop of ice cream each. Park. Nice weather. You, me getting talking, getting to know each other. An ice cream date is just one of the most perfect first date I can think of.
Dancing in the moonlight. Full moon. Music. Dancing. Candles. Somewhere above the world, somewhere. In our own world.
Kissing in the rain. Dancing. Getting soaked. But loving it.
Sunrise. It's more beautiful than sunsets. For after a sunrise, after the date, the day starts. And it would be a beautiful day ahead of us.
Star gazing. Laying down on the ground . Looking for shooting stars. Making wishes for our future. And where I can tell you I love you more than the stars in the sky.
Breakfast in bed. Waking up to pancakes. In bed. Starting the day with a smile.
Candlelight dinner on a rooftop. Alone. Music. Where he cooks. And we dance. And perhaps talk about the future. About how happy we'd be forever.
Beachside. Beautiful clear water. Where I can taste the salt on your lips. And we'd build sandcastles. And write our name in the sand. And build memories that will last right through our days.
I am not a hopeless romantic. But this is a vision in my head. Something beautiful. Something I could hope for. Something I could look forward to in moments of darkness. Something with you. Something called love.
Maybe I am a romantic. But not a hopeless one.
LoVe~
MzP<3
Got to meet him. Oh my God, it had been awhile since I saw him.
Can't believe when I meet him again I'd be... shy. Then I realised how deeply I've fallen.
And then I felt... confused. You know why, sayang.
And then here I am again. This is where I end up again: In bed. Alone. Where I have been for the past week.
Now I'm thinking of nice dates. Perfect dates.
Ice cream date. A scoop of ice cream each. Park. Nice weather. You, me getting talking, getting to know each other. An ice cream date is just one of the most perfect first date I can think of.
Dancing in the moonlight. Full moon. Music. Dancing. Candles. Somewhere above the world, somewhere. In our own world.
Kissing in the rain. Dancing. Getting soaked. But loving it.
Sunrise. It's more beautiful than sunsets. For after a sunrise, after the date, the day starts. And it would be a beautiful day ahead of us.
Star gazing. Laying down on the ground . Looking for shooting stars. Making wishes for our future. And where I can tell you I love you more than the stars in the sky.
Breakfast in bed. Waking up to pancakes. In bed. Starting the day with a smile.
Candlelight dinner on a rooftop. Alone. Music. Where he cooks. And we dance. And perhaps talk about the future. About how happy we'd be forever.
Beachside. Beautiful clear water. Where I can taste the salt on your lips. And we'd build sandcastles. And write our name in the sand. And build memories that will last right through our days.
I am not a hopeless romantic. But this is a vision in my head. Something beautiful. Something I could hope for. Something I could look forward to in moments of darkness. Something with you. Something called love.
Maybe I am a romantic. But not a hopeless one.
LoVe~
MzP<3
Prospective Husband Material
I've never actually see myself as someone who would fight for love. I never did. But somehow now, I'm doing it.
But we all know real life is far from the movies. And we all know in real life it's so much harder to know what's right and what's wrong. Because it is not black and white. There's no sweet animal loving princesses and evil queens.
But then again, the last time I checked, it's not the 19th century, is it? Arranged marriage is, surely, a thing of the past. Then how the hell did this happen? How the hell am I stuck with something that seems so much like arranged marriage that I can't even deny it anymore?
Thing is, I can find a good husband for myself, thank you very much. I mean my criteria for a husband is pretty impressively high standard, really. Seriously. Judge it for yourself.
Let me get one thing straight before I start on my list. Yes, I want a husband with a decent size penis (read: above average). I'm sorry, yea, I got it out. Yes it's superficial. I know you'd think, "A big penis isn't everything!" but it's really up to me, you know. If I'm going to spend my whole life with that thing, please let it be big. I also know guys out there who'll go, "I want a wife with big boobs." Sure, you know, guys. But I think a big penis makes more sense because it contributes more to the sex life than big boobs. And if guys could say that, I sure as hell could say it too.
Okay, so first on my list of a perfect husband is money. Yes. I'm sorry. For love or money? Money. Anytime. Love could come later. Being fed is more important to me. Even if love never come, I'd be comforted with the fact that at least my children are getting good education.
Second, smart. A smart husband would be nice. I would want someone I can have conversations with. Someone who knows more than I know so I can learn from him. Someone who can solve problems quick and painless.
Another criteria: Educated. Yes, it's different from above. I want my husband to get good education. Someone who can tell me the square root of pi. Someone who knows where a human spleen is. Someone who knows what E, M and C is in the formula E=MC². And someone who knows what shape the demand and supply curves are. Oh, and someone who actually knows what are The Illiad and The Odyssey are.
Fourth. Nice and kind. This goes without saying, really.
Fifth. Handy. Yes, I need him to change lightbulbs, change the car tyres, unclog sinks, repair leaks, and at least know more about cars than I do.
Funny. Quite important this one. If he isn't dull and can make me laugh it's a huge plus. I wouldn't want to marry the statue of liberty, if you know what I mean.
Seventh criteria: powerful. Someone with power just turns me on. Someone who can make things happen. A husband that is respected. That when you mention his name, people would know.
Eight. Good genes. I didn't say good-looking here because looking good is not a criteria. I mean, you don't have to look like Brad Pitt. But please carry good genes. I wouldn't want someone who carry genes for asthma, heart attack, diabetes, high blood pressure, hemophilia, sickle cell anemia, color blindness, and all those diseases out there. Oh, especially not thalassemia.
OK, I'll stop at 8. Those are my criterias.
But you know what? I have one more criteria that would cancel out all others: Religious. Seriously, no matter what, that is the most important. If a guy is religious, I don't care of all those other criteria (even the penis size). I so want, above all else, a religious husband. Someone who would guide me the right way. And someone who would guide my children the right way. If that guy is religious, I would not even check if he has all the qualities above. If he is religious, he'd be perfect for me. For if my husband is religious, I know what I will always have is happiness. I will always have blessing.
And always always have the best part of life. Always.
See, mum and dad, I know very well how to choose a husband for myself. If it's up to me, my husband would be perfect, because I would not settle for less than the best. And I know, if my parents actually know these criteria, they would be crazy proud of me.
So there is no need for arranged marriages please. Where husbands are concerned, I've got mine down pat.
Well, the important question then:
Any Applications?
Just kidding.
LoVe~
MzP<3
But we all know real life is far from the movies. And we all know in real life it's so much harder to know what's right and what's wrong. Because it is not black and white. There's no sweet animal loving princesses and evil queens.
But then again, the last time I checked, it's not the 19th century, is it? Arranged marriage is, surely, a thing of the past. Then how the hell did this happen? How the hell am I stuck with something that seems so much like arranged marriage that I can't even deny it anymore?
Thing is, I can find a good husband for myself, thank you very much. I mean my criteria for a husband is pretty impressively high standard, really. Seriously. Judge it for yourself.
Let me get one thing straight before I start on my list. Yes, I want a husband with a decent size penis (read: above average). I'm sorry, yea, I got it out. Yes it's superficial. I know you'd think, "A big penis isn't everything!" but it's really up to me, you know. If I'm going to spend my whole life with that thing, please let it be big. I also know guys out there who'll go, "I want a wife with big boobs." Sure, you know, guys. But I think a big penis makes more sense because it contributes more to the sex life than big boobs. And if guys could say that, I sure as hell could say it too.
Okay, so first on my list of a perfect husband is money. Yes. I'm sorry. For love or money? Money. Anytime. Love could come later. Being fed is more important to me. Even if love never come, I'd be comforted with the fact that at least my children are getting good education.
Second, smart. A smart husband would be nice. I would want someone I can have conversations with. Someone who knows more than I know so I can learn from him. Someone who can solve problems quick and painless.
Another criteria: Educated. Yes, it's different from above. I want my husband to get good education. Someone who can tell me the square root of pi. Someone who knows where a human spleen is. Someone who knows what E, M and C is in the formula E=MC². And someone who knows what shape the demand and supply curves are. Oh, and someone who actually knows what are The Illiad and The Odyssey are.
Fourth. Nice and kind. This goes without saying, really.
Fifth. Handy. Yes, I need him to change lightbulbs, change the car tyres, unclog sinks, repair leaks, and at least know more about cars than I do.
Funny. Quite important this one. If he isn't dull and can make me laugh it's a huge plus. I wouldn't want to marry the statue of liberty, if you know what I mean.
Seventh criteria: powerful. Someone with power just turns me on. Someone who can make things happen. A husband that is respected. That when you mention his name, people would know.
Eight. Good genes. I didn't say good-looking here because looking good is not a criteria. I mean, you don't have to look like Brad Pitt. But please carry good genes. I wouldn't want someone who carry genes for asthma, heart attack, diabetes, high blood pressure, hemophilia, sickle cell anemia, color blindness, and all those diseases out there. Oh, especially not thalassemia.
OK, I'll stop at 8. Those are my criterias.
But you know what? I have one more criteria that would cancel out all others: Religious. Seriously, no matter what, that is the most important. If a guy is religious, I don't care of all those other criteria (even the penis size). I so want, above all else, a religious husband. Someone who would guide me the right way. And someone who would guide my children the right way. If that guy is religious, I would not even check if he has all the qualities above. If he is religious, he'd be perfect for me. For if my husband is religious, I know what I will always have is happiness. I will always have blessing.
And always always have the best part of life. Always.
See, mum and dad, I know very well how to choose a husband for myself. If it's up to me, my husband would be perfect, because I would not settle for less than the best. And I know, if my parents actually know these criteria, they would be crazy proud of me.
So there is no need for arranged marriages please. Where husbands are concerned, I've got mine down pat.
Well, the important question then:
Any Applications?
Just kidding.
LoVe~
MzP<3
02 December 2008
Freaking Freak
This is a kind of pain I could not cope with.
I've always been good with pain. I've always been good with feelings.
But this time round, it's different. I guess I'm different. I can't cope. It hurts so bad that it's almost physical.
I need a release. I need to do get my mind off it, or I don't think I can survive another day.
I don't want this pain anymore. But I don't know what to do. Should I shut it off, along with all the other emotional things I'm feeling? Or should I just bear with it one more day?
I need you. I need you now. Please.
I can't freaking function. It's freaking hard. I'm freaking out. I'm a freak.
LoVe~
FreaK<3
I've always been good with pain. I've always been good with feelings.
But this time round, it's different. I guess I'm different. I can't cope. It hurts so bad that it's almost physical.
I need a release. I need to do get my mind off it, or I don't think I can survive another day.
I don't want this pain anymore. But I don't know what to do. Should I shut it off, along with all the other emotional things I'm feeling? Or should I just bear with it one more day?
I need you. I need you now. Please.
I can't freaking function. It's freaking hard. I'm freaking out. I'm a freak.
LoVe~
FreaK<3
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