Guilt and Bad Days

I'm not in college today because I woke up this morning with a terrible chest pain. It was quite bad, I couldn't straighten myself up. I didn't feel like going to the college anyway today. Just had a lab exam yesterday and it was a complete disaster. I have no idea what the question wants me to do. My experiments just doesn't work, and gave me no results at all. It was just terrible. Well, let's not talk about it.

Monday was my friends birthday, and I totally forgot about it!!! Until Tuesday. I feel extremely guilty because we were quite close during boarding school days. She was part of the 'Makan(Eat) Group'. We were the group who'll get together because of food. Whenever we get food, we'll get for the four of us, and eat and talk together. It was fun. I still feel guilty now, because it's been two days since her birthday and I couldn't get myself to pick up the phone to call her. I can't bring myself to admit to her that I forgot her birthday after being pretty sure she remembered my birthday in January. What am I supposed to do?! Help!

My exams are just next week. I'm scared to death as I'm not prepared! Guess I've been a little too caught up in Harry Potter(which I'm almost done reading, btw) and my terrible phlegm condition. I'm just dead scared. The exam timetable is not exactly favourable to me, anyway. I've got Economics and Chemistry paper on the same day. It couldn't get worse than that, but I'm not supposed to say that just in case they do make it worse for my next exam(which is AS-6 weeks!!!!!!!). I'm perspiring just thinking about it.

My life is just so not interesting right now. Sorry guys. I'm bound to get writer's block anytime now and at that time, don't think I'll be writing anything for this blog right here. I just thank god I don't have to take English paper. Can't afford to get writer's block if I have a whole paper where I'm supposed to write and depend only on my own head. After all these medication, I don't think my head will ever be the same again...


LoVe~
MzP<3

Double~Twice the Agony

I was just reading my best friend, Iman's blog. She was talking about us missing the Paris Hilton album launch the other day. Well, truthfully, I don't really feel like I missed a lot. I mean, I like her and all but it's just an album launch. It's not like she was there. She probably would go, "Huh? Malaysia? What's that?" Oh well, I don't really blame her, Malaysia's not really on the map. And seeing as how things are these days, I don't think it'll ever be.

Well, my excessive phlegm condition is still here. It is so very irritating having my nose clogged up. And very not attractive. Seriously, would you consider going out with a girl blowing into her tissue every minute? I don't think so. Oh well, it's not like I'll get a shot for a boyfriend these days. I'm getting to close with my ex and everytime that happens guys'll be all terrified to come close to me. Malay guys are already too cowardly. Wish a chinese guy would ask me out this time.

Went to the doctor this morning, our family doctor. Guess what? He doesn't recognise me. He said I grew too much already(I really hope he doesn't mean sideways). I got on the weighing machine and found out I gained 1kg since I last weighed myself. Not good news at all. I was hoping to loose weight. My BMI says I'm healthy but I want to be underweight! Ca'nt I just donate my fat in the fat cells to people who really need them?

I think my mother and her twin(surprise suprise, my mom has a twin-identical) is so similar to one another, and I don't mean just the looks. They're just the same. With minor differences here and there. They constantly get into fights one day and are suddenly so buddy-buddy the next day. And they never say sorry to each other. Goes to show just how stubborn they are. One thing they have in common. Second thing they have in common is what my mom don't like about her twin is exactly what her twin don't like about her. They have both been know to come to me and complain about the exact same thing. Example, they both talk alot and they'll both come to me and complain about how the other twin talks too much. But when they are on good terms, well, there's nothing they don't say to each other. They'll be on the phone 24/7. They're also masters of talking about other people. I always wonder if they both got a university degree in 'Lives of Others' because they are really good at it. I think sometimes they get into fights so that they won't run out of things to talk to each other, or maybe just sick of the other's voice at the other end of the phone line.


LoVe~
MzP<3

An Excess of Phlegm

As u die hard fans of Harry Potter know, 'An Excess of Phlegm' is a chapter in the 6th book. Funnily, it's also my condition right now. Quite sick with flu and a sore throat (the recent haze and all). Well I'm not exactly a die hard fan of Harry Potter, just rereading the books before the 7th book comes out. I'm more of a fan of (whisper) Voldemort (gasp)... He is so hot! I really hope J.K. Rowling doesn't suddenly change the ending of the last book, I kind of like the idea of Harry Potter dying. A few reasons :
1. My friend(who's a real die hard fan) says if 7 is the last book then she'd rather Harry die. At least after she finishes the book she won't start wondering what Harry does for the rest of his life. I totally agree.
2. Aren't we already showered with books and movies with happy endings(especially from Steven Spielberg)? I'm sick of all these 'tears of joy' stories. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a sadist, but depict something related to real life for once(although Harry Potter is not exactly real life).
3. Last but not least, my most important opinion and reason Harry Potter should die is... because I want to be united with my dear Dark Lord Voldemort after he kills Harry and rule the world together!!!! MwahahahahahahaHAHA

Back to my life. Just went through the Biology lab test today. My AS trial exam. It was totally hard. Terribly hard. Well, I don't really want to talk about it.

I suspect there's a virus on my computer right now. I have no idea what's wrong with it. It became painfully slow, laggy, and I can't open some files. All these virus talk makes me wish I was using Mac instead of Windows. Why? Because there isn't any official virus written for Mac. Makes sense because if I want to write a computer virus and become really well known and popular because of it, I'd probably write it for Windows as more people uses Windows and it will spread around faster than Mac. Unfortunately, I, being the receiving end of the viruses, am using Windows. One day I'll get a MacBook, you'll see.

I'm terribly hungry now, waiting for my food which currently is being cooked. It'll be done anytime now... Cya!


LoVe~
MzP<3

Mina

Met Julie in MidValley... Seriously glad to see her after so long, and it wasn't even planned! I stumbled across her with my other senior. So, we went shopping together and I brought her home. First time she's ever been to my house. As usual, we talked and talked and talked and talked until... well, until she had to go home(we never ran out of topic to talk about. Introducing my best pal in my boarding school last year. Wanna know how close we are? Really, terribly close. I actually followed her wherever she went. Literally. Except during class. We ate, study, talked, and everything else together. It sounds stupid, yes, but I was sort of attached to her. Those were my boarding school days. Now, she lost A LOT of weight, and she looks prettier than ever. Said she had been on a diet, and to the gym a lot. I really got to get some tips about slimming down from her. My mom still thinks I'm fat.

Last night I went to see the Pussycat Dolls concert. They actually came to Malaysia! It was really a surprise as I thought they wouldn't even be allowed in Malaysia's airport. It was much more a surprise when they came out wearing thir usual sexy ensemble. Seriously. Malaysia, being a Muslim country and all, never allowed this. Ever. When Mariah Carey came to perform, she wasn't even allowed a costume change. I have no idea why that rule was formed. It is stupid, to say the least. Costume changes make a concert interesting. But the Pussycat Dolls were actually allowed costume changes. Once again, I have no idea why that rule is put aside this time. I'm confused. I remember the Spice Girls weren't even allowed entry in Malaysia. I wonder why Pussycat Dolls are any different. Their dressing is almost the same with the Spice Girls, if not worse. Not that I'm complaining. I'm really happy they came. I'm just thinking of all the times in the past famous singers can't perform here because of their dressing, and wish they could. Just felt it wasn't fair, because PCD could perform easily here. Funny, right?

You know, I'm actually getting good in the abascus. Haha. The ancient Chinese counting machine(Not machine exactly, maybe an instrument). Learnt it in the internet. Useful, really. I can do Addition and Substraction only though, but I think I'm getting good. You know they said if you're good, you could be faster than a calculator. I don't think I am, but I would like to think I am. Hehe. When my father knew, he said, "Amazing, right, the internet? You could probably learn to make nuclear bombs with them."

Right now I'm having celebrity crushes on Johnny Depp, Josh Hartnett and Brandon Routh. My celebrity crushes change every few weeks or days. So far, I had crushes on(not in any particular order):

1. Johnny Depp
2. Travis Fimmel
3. Josh Hartnett
4. Brandon Routh
5. Ethan Hawke
6. Jude Law
7. Brad Pitt
8. Matthew McConaughney
9. Chad Micheal Murray
10. Kaka
11. Ioan Grufford
12. Collin Farrell
13. Chris Evans
14. Kevin Peake
15. Aaron Carter
16. Vin Diesel
17. Orlando Bloom
18. Channing Tatum
19. Jesse McCartney
20. Adam Garcia
21. Ben Affleck
22. Hayden Christensen
23. Devon Sawa

Guess what? That's not all... Hey, I have an idea! I'll make a post about these celebrities I like... Just out of boredom and fun... Later!

LoVe~

MzP<3

La Chica Rosa...@->~

La Chica Rosa. I like it. Well, originally, I meant The Pink Girl, but I checked and found out that 'Chica' and 'Rosa' has another meaning. Chica could also mean 'little'. Rosa, naturally means 'rose'. So when I write La Chica Rosa, you could read it as 'The Pink Girl' or 'The Little Rose'. Isn't that sweet?

Life to day is a bit boring, even to me. So I wouldn't bore you with the details of it. The most interesting thing I did today was pick up my ID. Which sucked by the way because my picture looks like a still life of me crying(or something to that effect).

Burnt my toungue 2 days ago. I was eating something sizzling and underestimated the heat. Burnt my whole tongue plus part of my throat. Still feeling the pain now. To make things worse, I ate another sizzling dish the next day. I was careful with the heat this time, but not something else. At this place I went to eat, there's a free glass of lemonade for every sizzling meal we ordered. Guess what heppened to my ultra-sensitive tongue? Acid burn. Two different kinds of burn in two days. How 'lucky' of me.

Excuse me for a bit but my mood in writing doesn't seem to exist today, so to say it sucks is probably an understatement. Believe it or not, I am actually thinking about entering an essay writing contest. Well, don't laugh. FIne, I do seem to realize my english is not extremely good, but I do have ideas for this essay. I'll tell you how it goes.

My cat, Clara is here. Seeking attention from me as always. When I don't give her attention, she starts climbing everywhere. I guess she's bored. I totally understand. Taking care of 2 little kittens who do nothing except for sleep and suck on milk can get pretty old.

Clearly, I have absolutely nothing to say. So I'll stop boring you with my blabbers. Except, did I tell you I seriously don't have anything with my boyfriend anymore? Well, yea, except he doesn't know it yet. My relationships never really lasted for more than two weeks. I lost interest in him two weeks in the relationship. It's two months now, and he's so far from me, and he still doesn't know it yet. One more reason, I don't do well in long distance stuff. Told you I'm only looking for fun. If he's not here, where's the fun in that? I'm done now. Later.

LoVe<3
MzP

El Dia

Today, to me, is a bad day. Another bad day in history of bad days.

As usual, my bad days are caused my non other than my mother. Yup. She seems to always find something I did wrong. This time, it's coming back home 15 minutes after the time she wants me home. Her rage would be completely understandable if the 'curfew' she set was 1 a.m. but instead, it was actually(if you dare to believe it) at very early 7.30 p.m.. I reached home at 7.45p.m.. She called me at 7.15p.m. to yell at me because I was still at the mall. By the time I reached home, she wasn't on talking terms with me. If you still don't know she is never on talking terms with me. Unless she thinks she needs me for something. And we fight (basically, not firght. Just me listening to her babbling, telling me what's wrong with me) for the stupidest things ever to fight about. Like how I'm gaining weight, not controlling my foof consumption, wearing wrong clothes, looking older than I really am, not at the table studying, not wearing the endless facial products she bought me, not getting a scholarship, etcetera, etcetera. Well there's also fights about how my brother is not doing well in school, doesn't understand additional math, came back home late and not studying at the current moment(she seems to think I'm responsibble for my brother's every step).

So the start of my bad day is on the car to school. Did I fail to mention that she seems to think the best time to babble and point out everything wrong about me is in the car? Yup. She does. This morning I was driving to college. She sat next to me, telling me of how I deliberately disobeyed her and took advantage of the fact she let me out all(can you believe her?). Hello? I was driving for goodness sake. I got furious with her and actually pressed the accelerator a lot more then I would've actually dared to go with her. Got satisfied with every shriek of "You're too fast!!" and"You're too close to that car!!!!!" of hers. Well, high on adrenaline, I really didn't know what I was thinking(Guess that's why the movie is named Fast and Furious). As a result, I reached the college in the record time of 5 minutes(usual time, 15 minutes). Well, it doesn't really matter what she thinks. She already titled me 'Dangerous Driver' and preferred my brother's driving eventhough he still doesn't have a license. Which reminds me, I reminded her about the countless times my useless brother comes home hours late. Unbelievably, and to my utmost horror, she said, "You can't compare. He's a boy, you're a girl." Always thought my mother was a little bit of a sexist, but never realised it was this bad.

So, like all bad days, the college is my refuge. Pathetically, I like to spend my time in the college rather than at home. Suddenly I remembered why I never felt any type of homesickness 4 years in boarding school, only the 5th. This is because she decided to be a little bit nice to me on my exam year. A home should be a place we can escape to in times of anything bad, but clearly my home is not. Not for me at least. I actually dread going home from school. How very pathetic is that? Welcome to my life.

I'm just sick sometimes being the good child. The one who actually puts an effort to bring good grades home. The one who never shouts at her parents. The one who obeys the rules too much. Don't get me wrong, I'm an expert in bending rules. The only one who actually read the whole school's Manual of Conduct to spot any flaws in the printings of the rules. It's just that I'm different with house rules. I almost always obey them. You know, when they all blame teenagers for being rebelious and disrespectful and taking advantage of parents? Well, has the media ever highlited the situation of what happens the other way around? Of parents who bullies their children who are a bit nicer than the others? Well, I have yet to come across any coverage on that area. I just wish my parents would open their eyes and see clearly what they are doing to their one and only daughter. My mother, especially. She doesn't realise I'm so different from what she was at my age. There are some things alike, but we're both very different. She really thinks I'll make the same mistakes she did. I'm not like her. I really am not.

LoVe~
MzP<3

Felis

I just read my blog entries in MSN. Yup, I have one in MSN. Before I started this blog, when I started to blog seriously. I always wonder how could I write really nice stuff sometimes? I mean, when I read it back, my english is good, and I can manage to make an entry really interesting. Weird, because whenever I am writing a blog entry(or anything, for that matter), I never feel like my english is good. I never felt the blog is interesting enough. Well, as long as other people like it, I won't mind. By the way, the title for this particular piece of entry, is the same with another entry of mine in MSN.

So, today, I would want to make the title real. So I'll write something 'Happy!'. Well, if you don't already know, 'Felis' means 'Happy'. In Spanish.

What makes me happy is thinking about nice things. Well, now I want to make a wishlist. That makes me happy. What I learn in Economics class is that economics is trying to "satisfy unlimited wants with limited resources." So these are my unlimited wants....

Wishlist 2006

1. Chris Evans!!

Okay! I know, I know. Haha start a wishlist with wishful thinking huh? But then what else is a wishlist for?! I'm serious though, can I have him?.....

2. A Beverly Hills Crib!

You must be thinking, When the hell is she going to learn? Well, never! I mean, who wouldn't want a crib in Beverly Hills? Beats me.

3. BMW Z4 (2006)Imagine this in light baby pink. That's a real dream come true.... Someday....

4. Miss Protocole watch by Piaget

This is pretty amazing, huh? The whole thing attractive about this is that a million straps are available for this piece of art. At a terribly, terribly, terrible price, of course. The price of style.

5. Manolo Blahnik shoes...

Beautiful babies. I'm sure you and everyone in the world know the big cost of owning even a pair of these babies. What I would do to actually get my hands on one, I have no idea.

6. A Valentino/Oscar de la Renta/Alexander Mcqueen Dress

The dress in the picture is a Valentino, but I'd do with whichever one dress from the three above.

7. Endless supply of chocolates!!!

Which girl can't resist chocolate?? Can you imagine a lifetime of chocs? I sure can!

Actually now I'm out of ideas... Obviously not out of wishes, I have too much! If I put it all, it'll be endless... Guess I'm just keeping the rest to myself... Or maybe I'll make another one... It's definitely fun!

LoVe~

MzP<3