El Dia

Today, to me, is a bad day. Another bad day in history of bad days.

As usual, my bad days are caused my non other than my mother. Yup. She seems to always find something I did wrong. This time, it's coming back home 15 minutes after the time she wants me home. Her rage would be completely understandable if the 'curfew' she set was 1 a.m. but instead, it was actually(if you dare to believe it) at very early 7.30 p.m.. I reached home at 7.45p.m.. She called me at 7.15p.m. to yell at me because I was still at the mall. By the time I reached home, she wasn't on talking terms with me. If you still don't know she is never on talking terms with me. Unless she thinks she needs me for something. And we fight (basically, not firght. Just me listening to her babbling, telling me what's wrong with me) for the stupidest things ever to fight about. Like how I'm gaining weight, not controlling my foof consumption, wearing wrong clothes, looking older than I really am, not at the table studying, not wearing the endless facial products she bought me, not getting a scholarship, etcetera, etcetera. Well there's also fights about how my brother is not doing well in school, doesn't understand additional math, came back home late and not studying at the current moment(she seems to think I'm responsibble for my brother's every step).

So the start of my bad day is on the car to school. Did I fail to mention that she seems to think the best time to babble and point out everything wrong about me is in the car? Yup. She does. This morning I was driving to college. She sat next to me, telling me of how I deliberately disobeyed her and took advantage of the fact she let me out all(can you believe her?). Hello? I was driving for goodness sake. I got furious with her and actually pressed the accelerator a lot more then I would've actually dared to go with her. Got satisfied with every shriek of "You're too fast!!" and"You're too close to that car!!!!!" of hers. Well, high on adrenaline, I really didn't know what I was thinking(Guess that's why the movie is named Fast and Furious). As a result, I reached the college in the record time of 5 minutes(usual time, 15 minutes). Well, it doesn't really matter what she thinks. She already titled me 'Dangerous Driver' and preferred my brother's driving eventhough he still doesn't have a license. Which reminds me, I reminded her about the countless times my useless brother comes home hours late. Unbelievably, and to my utmost horror, she said, "You can't compare. He's a boy, you're a girl." Always thought my mother was a little bit of a sexist, but never realised it was this bad.

So, like all bad days, the college is my refuge. Pathetically, I like to spend my time in the college rather than at home. Suddenly I remembered why I never felt any type of homesickness 4 years in boarding school, only the 5th. This is because she decided to be a little bit nice to me on my exam year. A home should be a place we can escape to in times of anything bad, but clearly my home is not. Not for me at least. I actually dread going home from school. How very pathetic is that? Welcome to my life.

I'm just sick sometimes being the good child. The one who actually puts an effort to bring good grades home. The one who never shouts at her parents. The one who obeys the rules too much. Don't get me wrong, I'm an expert in bending rules. The only one who actually read the whole school's Manual of Conduct to spot any flaws in the printings of the rules. It's just that I'm different with house rules. I almost always obey them. You know, when they all blame teenagers for being rebelious and disrespectful and taking advantage of parents? Well, has the media ever highlited the situation of what happens the other way around? Of parents who bullies their children who are a bit nicer than the others? Well, I have yet to come across any coverage on that area. I just wish my parents would open their eyes and see clearly what they are doing to their one and only daughter. My mother, especially. She doesn't realise I'm so different from what she was at my age. There are some things alike, but we're both very different. She really thinks I'll make the same mistakes she did. I'm not like her. I really am not.

LoVe~
MzP<3