The One

3 papers done.

So far, I've managed to do my exams without any major disasters. Well, minus the terrible less-than-4-hours-sleep, and the no-appetite-to-eat-at-all.

Yea, these days I need at least three doses of sleeping medication to fall asleep. Just to fall asleep. I still can't remain asleep with that many doses. I need to get stronger sleeping pills. Damn it.

Other than that, it's all good. I've finally stopped crying every few hours.

And today, I became Bree Van De Kamp and proceeded to scrub my whole toilet super clean. Including the floors and walls. For about 1.5 hours. And then an hour more to clean up my room.

So I've decided. My next partner wouldn't be someone 'boyfriend-material' but 'husband-material' instead. Yes, I'm ready to look for a prospective husband. I mean, not now. Maybe in a month or 2 I'll be ready. To make it happen. For real this time.

It's going to be hard, I'll admit.

You see, I'm still traditional in a way. I still believe marriage is not just a 'love' affair. I believe it's some parts business as well, like they use to do in the olden days where parents look for their child's spouses, and serious matchmakers are involved. In fact, I don't really mind if the husband part is dealt with by my parents (Like an arranged marriage in a way). As in, they do all the hard work of looking for a husband for me (Hey, at least if things screw up, I have someone to blame! Hehe). OK, not really. I would like to have some say in my prospective husband. But I guess I trust my mom's taste enough. As long as it's not one of my ex boyfriends, I'll be alright with them.

In fact, it'd be interesting to see the types of men they will pick.

Plus, I'm kind of tired bringing home one guy after another, just for them to shoot him down. You know, not handsome enough, not rich enough, not old enough, bla-di-bla.

And plus, I'm even more tired of falling in love outside of marriage. I mean, why can't it be like those days where you get married and then fall in love? Then both of you can't leave each other because it's against the law or something. Who the hell came up with fall in love and then get married, anyway? It's crap to me. I mean marriages are supposed to be sacred right? It's supposed to be the thing. But nowadays it's just a why not? thing. Or a trapped thing. Or a no one else and I'm too old thing. Human kind is definitely losing it. Definitely.

So I'll be looking for the real thing. A good guy. Someone stable (emotionally, mentally and financially, preferably), someone matured, and someone who cares. Someone at the right age (between 3 to 10 years older than me). Someone with good genes (so I don't have to worry about my children and their children). Definitely someone who treats me right. Above all else.

I'd want fights, but good fights. I'd want love, but it doesn't matter if that's now or much later. I'd want a guidance, who is way better than me and can guide me through everything, not the other way around. Most of all, I'd want a person. Imperfect, but perfect for me, nevertheless.

Yes, in a month or two, I'll be ready to find that guy whoever you are. A long journey? Definitely a hard one. And hopefully by the time I'm done, I'd end up with just the right one.

And hopefully my parents would like him. And his parents would like me too. (Although I do realise this is asking for abit to much).



LoVe~
MzP<3