I haven't cried yet. Watched 'He's Just Not That Into You' a million times. Slept over Mira's place two nights in a row. Studied. Did something I really shouldn't mention here (in case it gets to my mom... hehe). Twice. And I'll be OK. Cool.
So I find talking about totally unrelated stuff helps. So here's talking about something else. Something I've mentioned once or twice in this blog, but never really really talked about.
About 2.5 years ago, when I was 18, I met this guy. I remember the exact moment. In Taylor's, first day of classes. He was sitting there. A friend of mine pointed him out, saying how cute he was. Someone asked for his name. We pondered.
Then he turned and looked at me. A lingering look. Then, nothing.
For the next year or so, I longed for that look again. Just that one look. Even when I moved on to other crushes, he still held a small place, somewhere.
I did ask a friend of a friend if he was single. He was. Single and looking. But me being me, I'd never ever get the courage to talk to him. I'd still see him around occasionally. But I'm just too shy. This I had always beat myself up for. Because I'm always haunted by, "What if?"
Yes, it was cute. Very high school. Very stupid. Very me.
Then I went back to my life. My loves. My ups and downs.
After a while, at a very random encounter, I met him again. I got pushed into talking to him. Tricked.
So I talked to him. I was single, so was he. I found out I still liked him, that he was charming. Long story short, it ended with him asking me to 'drop by' his hotel for more partying later. I didn't go.
So it ends.
I still have a million and one things to say here but I won't. Guess what I want to say. Some good things, some bad things. Something funny. Something depressing. Something damaging. Something cute. And maybe something happy. Just some things. And a question.
So why am I writing about him then? Well, I'm taking my mind off another. Maybe I'll write about alot more of my crushes, unrequited stuff, coming up.
I'm damaged right now. Trying to get over someone I love. So yes, I'd talk about the past. Unrelated. I'm over the guy mentioned above. But I'd take a lesson out of it. I'd talk to a guy I like. Just so 'What If' is out of the way. Just so I'd clear it up. Just so I won't wonder years later what would happen otherwise. Just so.
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Thanks for my piece of mind.
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And another thing, if it's alright, I'd be writing as Xuxa for awhile. I need her strength to get over this dark time. So I'd apologise earlier if my act and words from here on might hurt someone. I can't be me for awhile, I can't afford to.
And not just here. On MSN, on FB, in real life. Xuxa it is from here on out.
And please, wish me luck for my exams!!!
LoVe~
MzP<3
The way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
XuXa
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