Right and Wrong

Today could be a great day. Or one of the worse days.

I've been getting myself into shit. Deep shit. It's one of those many many times in life where you are given a choice - to do the right thing or not. And this is where I say, I chose to not do the right thing. Because I didn't want to. I just don't want to. Yes, you might say I'm stupid. I might say I'm stupid too. But strangely, I'm not regretting anything. I just feel bad. Not too bad though.

But then again, what really defines the right and the wrong? I'm so sick of looking into the future, looking at the long run. So sick of doing what's best for me in the long run. So I did something that may ruin it. And what's the big deal? I have no idea.

I just know, doing something bad comes with consequences. So I'll probably be punished for this. Someday. Sooner or later.

Also for the stupid medicine I haven't taken for 4 days in a row. Shit. Now that's bad. Don't worry, I'll only die if I stop taking it for months. So yeah, I'm still safe.

But you know what? I'm going to enjoy this as much as I can... While its lasts. Because I know very well, although it is not right, it is also not entirely wrong.

At the same time, I am happy. Not ecstatic, exactly, more like, contentedly happy. Like, I just feel covered in a warm glow all over. It's kind of nice. I hope it lasts long.

One more thing. I need advice. Or perhaps someone to talk to. Everyone I ask would actually say I should do the 'right' thing. The problem is, eventhough at times it's very clear what's right and what's wrong, at times it's just not. And maybe someone who steps in my shoes, know what I know, and see it from my point of view.

I miss Malaysia now. I really do. But I'm glad I'm in Sydney. I love Sydney. It's good. Great.

I just really hope the dawn is near.


LoVe~
MzP<3