Summer Boredome

I spent practically the whole day today figuring out why HDTV plays on my Windows Media Center on my laptop and not somene else's Window Media Center on ther laptop. Despite both our laptops being practically the same VAIO (Infact, hers is a slightly newer version - like, a few months later than mine).

And trust me, it's so much more tiring than it seems. So tiring in fact, I fell asleep so early.

No, I refuse to pin it on jet lag. Have been sleeping OK since I got back.

I have, for quite some time ago, gave up on the HDTV thing and is now downloading a new player that actually supports it. And that wait is killing me. Maybe I should just throw the laptop out of my balcony. Hehe.

Other than that, I'm sitting here waiting for him to call. Hopeless.

Hey, anyone out there wants to go out tomorrow? One more day at home might just drive me crazyyyy. Let's go mamak. Yes, mamak. It's been so long since I ate there! Any takers?

Other than that...

I got into Summer School!!! Yes, I'm going for summer school. Yay me.

This subject I'm taking would actually accelerate my uni time by a whole semester. Cool or what?

And it starts on the 5th.

So I'll be back in Sydney by then.

So see you guys in Sydney!!!


LoVe~
MzP<3

Angels' Shopping

(3rd day in LA)

Another day in The City of Angels. Yum.

Went shopping today, and wow, did I have fun.

Juicy Couture, Rock & Republic, Aigner, Calvin Klein, True Religion, DKNY, Armani, Nine West, Polo, Tommy Hilfigier, Ed Hardy, and the list goes on and on and on. Eat your heart out, people!

I bought, like, so much stuff!

Right now, can't sleep. Listening to If I Ain't Got You on iTunes. Over and over again. Reminds me of him. Mmmm...

Okay, back to topic.

I bought wallet, shoes, jeans, bag, clothes, underwear... stuff I can't even list here.

And I love love all the stuff I just bought. Like, love love. More than I love my BF. Joke, baby. Hehe. Love you! (Though I am ignoring your smses right now...).

LA has been... good. Not great, exactly. Could have had more fun. Restricted, though.

And yes, you are non dairy creamer to me.

OMG, and Katy Perry's Ur So Gay is coooool. Listen to it. Seriously. Umm... is it too weird to say it reminds me of someone? Haha. Yea, but who exactly, I'll just keep that to myself.

Alright, I'm finally sleepy. Will update when I'm back in Malaysia. (And will kill you if you sms the same things again!)

LoVe~

MzP<3

Thoughts in Cali

Guess where I am? Right, LA!!!

Had only been a day. Fun so far? Hmmm... not too bad. Disneyland was OK if wasn't a little bit too quick. We had to cramp everything up and didn't even have time to go souvenir shopping - which is part of the whole fun!

Tomorrow: Universal Studios.

The next day: Shopping!!!!! (Yes, that deserves five exclamation marks)

Wish I had someone my age around though. Then maybe right now I would be somewhere much more fun. I mean, not in this room, alone, writing my blog in this one hour time frame of the only internet access I have. Pathetic, I know.

No matter. Tomorrow is a new day.

Weirdly enough i've been having lots of dreams lately. Not really good dreams, but not nightmares either. They're just there everytime I close my eyes. And some feel so real, they scare me.

I wonder what's the significance of all these dreams. I barely remember them actually. But I wonder why they suddenly appear, after all those nights of dreamless sleep. Is something disturbing my train of thought? Is it something physical? Am I not well? Or is it some side effect of any medication I'm not aware of?

But then again, maybe I'm just missing someone.

One question though: If you ever found something true, something real, would you ever give it up for the possibility of something better? Or the promise of something better?

I don't know. Will I be lucky again? Or will I just be pushing my luck too far this time.

But what if this thing is also so... wrong?

I wonder, would Romeo and Juliet find something better if they just moved on and not killed themselves? Would they be happier? They were so young after all.

Or is that kind of love once in a lifetime and should be embraced whether it's wrong or right? Tell me, please.

Times up!


LoVe~
MzP<3

Future

Back to bed.

Watched an old movie today. The CDs my baby gave me. That was good.

Played badminton. BADminton. Cos I'm just so bad at it, it's embarrassing. I mean, no one's bad at badminton. NO ONE!

As uneventful as today was, I'm still happy. Going to see him tomorrow. Yeay!!!

Sometimes I really want to know what the future holds. And sometimes I really don't.

Knowing would be nice. Knowing would prepare me. Then maybe I'd stop wasting my time trying to get things I'll never get and start spending more time on things I will surely get.

But not knowing would be sweet. Surprises, they're sweet. Not knowing what's coming makes you treasure what you have more. Alot more. And when good things come, it'll be the sweetest surprise life could offer. Sweet and simple.

Then there are times when it's just driving me crazy. Times when I know part of the future but not all. When I know my dad will be angry but I don't know why. When I know a friend would betray me but I don't know how. When I know that drink would spill but I don't know how to avoid it.

It makes me think sometimes, the future, is it written in stone? Is it really changeable? Or is it not? If I be nice now, I know it will change my future, but is it written that I would be nice? Or is that something only I decide?

I keep on thinking, but I know I'm not supposed to. I'm not supposed to think too much about the powers that be. I know, I know.

You know what? Someone did predict my future for me once. Last year.

And so far, I think some wasn't right. But I can't be too sure. Thing is, I wanted some to be right, and others, not so much.

So that's why I want to know so much about the future. Not my future, exactly, but what the future really is. I'd like to know.

Because there are times where the present is where I really am and really want to be. But there are times when I just can't bring myself to just be at the present. There are times when it is all about the past and the future. When right now is the illusion and the rest is the reality.

Gosh, I'm rambling.

But actually right now all I want to do is stare into his eyes. And stare at them forever.



LoVe~
MzP<3

Beautiful Dates

Yesterday was so... nice.

Got to meet him. Oh my God, it had been awhile since I saw him.

Can't believe when I meet him again I'd be... shy. Then I realised how deeply I've fallen.

And then I felt... confused. You know why, sayang.


And then here I am again. This is where I end up again: In bed. Alone. Where I have been for the past week.

Now I'm thinking of nice dates. Perfect dates.

Ice cream date. A scoop of ice cream each. Park. Nice weather. You, me getting talking, getting to know each other. An ice cream date is just one of the most perfect first date I can think of.

Dancing in the moonlight. Full moon. Music. Dancing. Candles. Somewhere above the world, somewhere. In our own world.

Kissing in the rain. Dancing. Getting soaked. But loving it.

Sunrise. It's more beautiful than sunsets. For after a sunrise, after the date, the day starts. And it would be a beautiful day ahead of us.

Star gazing. Laying down on the ground . Looking for shooting stars. Making wishes for our future. And where I can tell you I love you more than the stars in the sky.

Breakfast in bed. Waking up to pancakes. In bed. Starting the day with a smile.

Candlelight dinner on a rooftop. Alone. Music. Where he cooks. And we dance. And perhaps talk about the future. About how happy we'd be forever.

Beachside. Beautiful clear water. Where I can taste the salt on your lips. And we'd build sandcastles. And write our name in the sand. And build memories that will last right through our days.

I am not a hopeless romantic. But this is a vision in my head. Something beautiful. Something I could hope for. Something I could look forward to in moments of darkness. Something with you. Something called love.

Maybe I am a romantic. But not a hopeless one.


LoVe~
MzP<3

Prospective Husband Material

I've never actually see myself as someone who would fight for love. I never did. But somehow now, I'm doing it.

But we all know real life is far from the movies. And we all know in real life it's so much harder to know what's right and what's wrong. Because it is not black and white. There's no sweet animal loving princesses and evil queens.

But then again, the last time I checked, it's not the 19th century, is it? Arranged marriage is, surely, a thing of the past. Then how the hell did this happen? How the hell am I stuck with something that seems so much like arranged marriage that I can't even deny it anymore?

Thing is, I can find a good husband for myself, thank you very much. I mean my criteria for a husband is pretty impressively high standard, really. Seriously. Judge it for yourself.

Let me get one thing straight before I start on my list. Yes, I want a husband with a decent size penis (read: above average). I'm sorry, yea, I got it out. Yes it's superficial. I know you'd think, "A big penis isn't everything!" but it's really up to me, you know. If I'm going to spend my whole life with that thing, please let it be big. I also know guys out there who'll go, "I want a wife with big boobs." Sure, you know, guys. But I think a big penis makes more sense because it contributes more to the sex life than big boobs. And if guys could say that, I sure as hell could say it too.

Okay, so first on my list of a perfect husband is money. Yes. I'm sorry. For love or money? Money. Anytime. Love could come later. Being fed is more important to me. Even if love never come, I'd be comforted with the fact that at least my children are getting good education.

Second, smart. A smart husband would be nice. I would want someone I can have conversations with. Someone who knows more than I know so I can learn from him. Someone who can solve problems quick and painless.

Another criteria: Educated. Yes, it's different from above. I want my husband to get good education. Someone who can tell me the square root of pi. Someone who knows where a human spleen is. Someone who knows what E, M and C is in the formula E=MC². And someone who knows what shape the demand and supply curves are. Oh, and someone who actually knows what are The Illiad and The Odyssey are.

Fourth. Nice and kind. This goes without saying, really.

Fifth. Handy. Yes, I need him to change lightbulbs, change the car tyres, unclog sinks, repair leaks, and at least know more about cars than I do.

Funny. Quite important this one. If he isn't dull and can make me laugh it's a huge plus. I wouldn't want to marry the statue of liberty, if you know what I mean.

Seventh criteria: powerful. Someone with power just turns me on. Someone who can make things happen. A husband that is respected. That when you mention his name, people would know.

Eight. Good genes. I didn't say good-looking here because looking good is not a criteria. I mean, you don't have to look like Brad Pitt. But please carry good genes. I wouldn't want someone who carry genes for asthma, heart attack, diabetes, high blood pressure, hemophilia, sickle cell anemia, color blindness, and all those diseases out there. Oh, especially not thalassemia.

OK, I'll stop at 8. Those are my criterias.

But you know what? I have one more criteria that would cancel out all others: Religious. Seriously, no matter what, that is the most important. If a guy is religious, I don't care of all those other criteria (even the penis size). I so want, above all else, a religious husband. Someone who would guide me the right way. And someone who would guide my children the right way. If that guy is religious, I would not even check if he has all the qualities above. If he is religious, he'd be perfect for me. For if my husband is religious, I know what I will always have is happiness. I will always have blessing.

And always always have the best part of life. Always.

See, mum and dad, I know very well how to choose a husband for myself. If it's up to me, my husband would be perfect, because I would not settle for less than the best. And I know, if my parents actually know these criteria, they would be crazy proud of me.

So there is no need for arranged marriages please. Where husbands are concerned, I've got mine down pat.

Well, the important question then:

Any Applications?

Just kidding.


LoVe~
MzP<3

Freaking Freak

This is a kind of pain I could not cope with.

I've always been good with pain. I've always been good with feelings.

But this time round, it's different. I guess I'm different. I can't cope. It hurts so bad that it's almost physical.

I need a release. I need to do get my mind off it, or I don't think I can survive another day.

I don't want this pain anymore. But I don't know what to do. Should I shut it off, along with all the other emotional things I'm feeling? Or should I just bear with it one more day?

I need you. I need you now. Please.

I can't freaking function. It's freaking hard. I'm freaking out. I'm a freak.


LoVe~
FreaK<3