Tragedies and Life

Let me tell you a story today. A few days ago a tragedy occurred so I want to tell you. But first let's start at the beginning.

When I was 11, I was transferred from a private school to a normal public school. So I was in primary 5 in a new school where I didn't know anyone. There was a guy (well, begins the tragedy in life). A year older than me, and I had a crush on him. Well, being so young, you'd guess it's one of those phrases I'm going through. Maybe it was.

I was infatuated by him for two whole years. We never talked and he never noticed my existance. Well, to put it simple, he was Mr. Popular. Everyone knows him. Every student, every parent, every teacher. i don't think he realised all of it though. But then who wouldn't have a crush on a guy like him.

When I was in primary 6 I found out he had a girlfriend. Even if he hadn't he still won't notice me. I still had a crush on him eventhough I only saw him, like twice the whole year.

When I turned 13, I went into boarding school and entered another phase of my life where I soon got over him and stopped thinking about him. So life went on. I really did believe that the crush was really a phase.

Then I turned 16. I met him back. That time, I had a boyfriend(actually, my boyfriend was a friend of his). I saw him, and I know very well he didn't recognise me at all. He was still with the same girl. I only saw a glimpse of him when I saw him. Didn't think twice about it that day.

A month or two later I met him again. This time, I was single. Guess what, I was smitten all over again. I realised up close he didn't change that much. Then the crush just reignited. This time, for the first time ever in my life, I had the courage to go up and talk to him. The day I'll never forget. It's true, he didn't recognise me but that's the best part. It's like he just discovered my existence and I bask in that feeling, that ambience. He was also single.

I loved my sudden existence in his life. He even got my number from a friend and contacted me. It's the best feeling in the world because all this while, even if guys paid attention to me, it wasn't from the one I've liked for two whole years.

Our very short thing was found out though and some parties dissapproved. One of the parties is his heart. They sort of got back together after that. Not directly after that, but they started contacting each other again and soon I was pushed out of the way. Understanding life as it is, you've got to know I wasn't angry or terribly dissapointed. I'm happy because it happened in the first place. What's 'it', u ask, well, that he knows I exist. Thats 'it'. Understand that it made me very happy.

Then the real tragedy. A few days ago he got admitted into the hospital because of some really serious thing. I went and I saw. Then I realised something. Eventhough he's not really in my life and I'm not really in his, I know I just can't live without him. He could be with someone else for his whole life but all he has to do is be happy. Then I would live as well. Don't mistake this for love as I don't believe in love no matter how much you try to push me to. I already understood the circumstances. He's just a part of me that I can't let go. Not that way. Don't get me wrong I'd love to be the one next to him but then I'd also be the one that would hurt him if I do. I am capable of hurt, everyone is, but if he's to be hurt let it not be from me.

Maybe you don't understand, he's the perfect figure that stayed in my mind. I didn't write this post to hurt anyone or to declare my love or anything stupid like that. Life is short I know, but I really don't want to lose someone I've worked hard all my life to get noticed by. I certainly don't want to lose a friend of a mind like his. I won't fight for him. I won't take him away from anyone. But don't take him permanently away from me. Just don't.


LoVe~
MzP<3

C for Chemistry

Today we (Me, Sailormoon, Superwoman Grace, The Fly and Aimi) just realised that Chemistry starts with C and the teacher's name starts with C and The Fly got C for the subject. Why the hell is Chemistry so full of C's? That's scary right? It's like if you take Chemistry in my class, you're destined for a C. Thank god i DROPPED the subject. Well, I got worse than a C for your information.

Finally I 'quit my job'. Wow. I 'd never thought I'd use that phrase so soon. "Quit My Job". That's so cool. I mean, I actuall said it! I quit my job!!!! Okay, forgive the mental retardation for a second. I am a little bit out of it.

Talking about mental retardation, Aimi and Grace the Superwoman just found a new club. The MRS. Trust me, it sounds nicer in acronyms. If you can't guess what it stands for, you qualify as a member. Okay, I'll tell you. It's the Mental Retardation Society. Did I mention club? Sorry, it's more like a society. Because we're recruiting people fast every single day.

So let me tell you the hierarchy of the club, i mean, society.

President and Founder : Aimi Syarizad
Vice President and Co-Founder : Grace Chieng
Treasurer : Toh Ee Fei


Well, the members are now too many to be listed. Just the high posts are available. Anyone who thinks they're a member, is already a part of the society. Anyone who declares themselves as a member could get a place in the high posts. Beware: It is strongly not advisable to include the high post you're holding in your resume. No matter how prestigious it seems. Trust me on this.


LoVe~
MzP<3

Happy Feet

Why you hugging me?

He told me too.

Stop it.

No, you like it.

Some some weird twisted unexplainable reason, this quote is stuck in my head. Been annoying my classmates by repeating over and over and over again in class. You know the quote 'If you can't beat them, join them?' Well Sailormoon and Fei has joined me in this. Gracie still hadn't come to it yet. But she did write it in her blog as the random quotes she heard recently. I think she'll succumb to it later since she loves Happy Feet as much as I do and we both are swearing off fish forever so we don't destruct the penguins' food chain. (Though she did just eat a Dory fish recently... she must be punished!!!!!) Well, we think salmon and stingrays don't count so we still eat the occasional fish now and then. They call us the penguin activists. Hello, you would be one too if you see them hugging each other.... Awwwwwww......

Right now is my free period where I don't take Chemistry so while they're all slaving away trying to concentrate in Ms Careen's class, I get to quote Happy Feet in The Web!!!!! How supercool is that?!?

Well, It's time for my next class now. See you guys very soon. And remember, DON'T eat FISH!!!!


LoVe~
MzP<3

Don't Have to Read This

Life is back to normal now. I actually started playing Ragnarok (again) but on a private server(is it, like, illegal?) this time because the original one is too expensive. It's interesting. Last time I had an archer but I figured archer are so freaking poor. I wanted my first character to be filthy rich and strong at the same time so I got a thief. It was the right decision because when last time I never reached 50,000, now I have close to 500,000. Especially now I'm a rogue. I'm telling you, rogues are the best. Of all characters, they're the only ones that are allowed to play dirty. I can steal money from monsters even(and I never knew they had any). Another reason I became a rogue is because they're so sexy. In a brutal kind of way. The sexy girl you wouldn't mind(much) killing you in a darkened alley. Being strong and sexy, that's my ideal character. I actually created a 2nd character already and she's an archer. Yea, I know, again? Actually I only want to be an archer because of the second job change option. Hunters and Dancers are really sexy. Dancers turn into Gypsies which are the sexiest of all. That's the good thing. The bad thing? Dancers are mostly support characters. Like Acolytes. Only worse, because Dancers can't heal themselves. Well, they're still the sexiest. One problem though, I still can't find a proper guide for Dancers on the internet. I don't really know how to make the perfect all-rounded dancer character. I'm actually a mean person(laugh out loud!!) so I can't exactly be a full support Dancer.

I'm gonna stop now.


LoVe~
MzP<3

Of The Last Year of Teenagehood

I do very well realise that it's past mid of January and I haven't written anything. Tow reasons: no mood and writer's block. I can't write when I'm too happy or too sad. Sometimes I'm just lazy because PC games are better(forgive me!).

As you might know(and should know), my birthday was last week, on the 13th of January. It was on a Saturday. So on Friday night me and my bf/Xbf and my friends went out for dinner. We were actually planning to go clubbing but too many can't come and my best friend had an extra early curfew. So we ate dinner at an expensive restaurant instead. The food was great. I ate grilled salmon(mmmmm....), as usual(actually I like salmon because it's pink). That was truly a mouth-watering experience. Then as a surprise, they got the staff to sing Happy Birthday to me(wearing jester hats) and presented me a nice tiramisu cake. I was so touched! I loved it so much.

The next day(my official birthday) my mum had a birthday lunch for me. What seemed like a normal lunch turned out to be a kids' party, with 50 balloons around the house and banners and even... wait for it......... a Pinata!!! I can't believe my bf/Xbf got me a pinata and filled it up with nice sweets. The best part? Everyone was having fun. Did I say anything about my 18th birthday? It was supposed to be the best birthday ever but it was a disaster. My 19th birthday wasn't even supposed to be too good but it was great! That is my best birthday ever so far. Everyone who mattered to me came. One thing though, I only invited three of my old school friends. I don't care if the rest felt terrible about it but I just don't like these people anymore. They treat me really bad last time and I know if I free up a few spaces for them for the party, they're not going to come anyway. So I invited my whole class instead. They're sooooo much fun though a few didn't come. Then there was the presents. I got some amazing presents. I don't get alot but I agree with quality is better than quantity. Most of them shared for one gift, so my gifts are expensive and interesting and useful. I got a pink special edition 1 GB thumb drive(which sailormoon claims to drive all the way to Low Yat in the middle of the night just to buy), a pink 'iPod-like' MP3 player which is Samsung from my bf/Xbf, a pair of nice shoes(also pink with a pretty butterfly), a spa treatment of body massages and body wrap which is worth $168, a t-shirt with "My Kitten ate my Homework" written at the front(specially for Math class), a nice pink hairclip with dragonfly design, cool MNG sunglasses, a nice pink bangle and a CK perfume(from my mum).

To top it off, my cake was delicious and my mum's cooking was superb. I loved the party to bits. At the end, we all signed and wrote nice messages and wishes on balloons and let them up to the sky to float to the heavens(I'm being too dramatic here, I know). Well, we're science students so we know the balloons would burst somewhere up there but we still do it anyways. It's so pretty seeing pink and white balloons going further and further up. I'll post the picture sometime later.

Overall, that was my best birthday ever and I seriously didn't want it to end. I remember a few days before I called all of my best and closest friends and made sure they'd come. So I'll know that even if no one else came, I'd still love it just as much. Well, I'm just glad they all came(Except Arse and I'm going to kick his arse later).

Oh, and by the way, I'm not supposed to write this blog entry at this very moment. I skipped 2 periods of my Biology class because I didn't bring my lab coat(Shhhh... I'm begging you not ot tell my mum). Then I came to the computer lab because I have nowhere else to go and no money left. I got to go to my next class though... Bye!


LoVe~
MzP<3

Work and more work

Believe it or not, I'm at work right now. Yes, I know, surprising right? Me, work? Well, it's not really very serious, just to gain experience and some money. ;)

I started work on the 23rd, 2 days before Christmas. So what the hell do I work as? Well, just basic cosmetics promoter for SK-II. Yup, that skincare product from Japan. I am just a temporary worker anyway, and I'm placed in empty spots where some permanent worker cannot make it. My first day was in Midvalley Metrojaya, and being the first day of my first job, I don't know anything. I asked the guy who called me up for the job ad he said I should wear all black (can you imagine?! I mean, whoever wears all black these days?!? I'm not saying black's out of fashion, but if you wear it alone, it's a bit dull isn't it? Then again, maybe that's the whole purpose) and a collared shirt or t-shirt. So I did. He didn't tell me about shoes however, and the fact that I have to enter through staff entrance. So I arrived and had to buy new shoes(after having to ask everyone where the staff entrance is). Then, for some twisted reason, the staff can't bring handphones in. So I had to give it to the officer behind the desk to keep, with heavy reluctance. Seriously, can you imagine 8 of your waking hours without handphone? I bet you would quit the job right away or try to smuggle it in. Then, I found out that I have to use staff toilet only. And, if I want to get out of the department store, I have to go through the staff entrance everytime (which is super far because I'll have to get out f the building and walk a quarter of a kilometre and go in the building again, up the stairs). So lunch is a total torture. Another thing I found out is that I don't have to use collared shirt. Lots of their other workers only wear round neck tees(baby tees). SK-II has, like, 30 products or more and I have to study them all and memorize their prices. That totally sucks. I mean, it has 10 types of mosturisers alone and I have to know the prices and what each of them do and how long will they last and for what skintype they're suitable for. It's exhausting(note that's for only the mosturisers). Then I have to know the promotions. Most customers will go to the counter and ask, "what's the promotion going on now?" the first thing. Can't blame them I can't afford th product without ppromotion, too.

So after Metrojaya Midvalley I have to work in Parkson KLCC. Here, I found out I have to wear a bun in my hair and if I want to wear something not collared, I have to wear it long-sleeved. The staff entrance is not so bad however. It's right outside the main entrance of the department store. But I do have to go up three floors to get there, and once I get in, I have to go down two floors. This was also the first time I was at the counter alone(without one of the permanent staff helping and teaching me. I was reaking scared! Plus, I had to do the store closing since my shift was untill 10. That was seriously scary. What if I forgot to do something? Or did something wrong? That counter also offered facial services so I had to learn how to take appointments and reconfirm them(By the way, it is full for this month and the next and the weekends on February). I think everything turned out fine in the end. One thing I learned is that the promotion for every SK-II counter is very different. That sucks. I have to memorize every counter's promotion and the department store promotion plus any type of special occasions promotion(and when will they end). I also have to keep up with new and upcoming promotions. A little too much don't you think, for a 'school holidays' job?

Then, when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I was transferred to Isetan KLCC. This counter is terribly busy where customers are never-ending. The worst part? I can't SIT!!! So for 7 hours I had to stand there waiting and walking around. Oh, and did I mention the shoes I bought in Midvalley are high-heels? Imagine walking on the balls of your feet for 7 hours. Ouch. Even the permanent promoter has this pained expression on her face. Can't blame her, I know how she feels. After that, when I desperately needs to go to the toilet, I found out something new: toilet cubicles are locked. When any of the staff needs to go do the 'business', she or he needs to look for the keys first. Then, in the toilet, the cubicle doors are labeled 'Shoes', 'Handbags', 'Cosmetics' and things like that for staff who work in different departments. With such rules, I thought the toilet would at least be clean, but it's worse than the customers' toilet. Then it hits me. If the toilets are locked, how would cleaners get to clean them up? Furthermore, the tap water is just a tiny tinkle. I mean, a rat could piss faster than that!

More on my work adventures later.

LoVe~

MzP<3

Eye Colour and Music

I'm still not into writing any latest entry today. Having writer's block and just in no mood to write. So I'll be posting one of those things I found.

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

Well, I do have brown eyes. No surprises there today.


This is another thingy for this entry today...

Your Musical Tastes Match: Jennifer Garner

See her whole playlist here (iTunes required)

Actually, I have no idea why I even bothered doing that. I already knew I have Jennifer Garner's taste in music, of all people. I really don't know why her. I don't mean anything bad by it, actually. Does similar tastes in music show similar personality? I'm guessing, maybe, since I think Ben Affleck's hot too.


LoVe~
MzP<3