Crazy

I'm actually trying to avoid saying what I really wanna say. Well, because it will come out mean and terrible, and I would know that that's the PMS talking, not me.

Is everybody going crazy?

To summarize, I won't say I'm sad, cos I'm not. Perhaps pissed off, but not irrationally so. I'm just... done, you know. I refuse to be the victim here. And I won't be. I am, for all intents and purposes, detaching myself. Because the only things we humans are tied to, are our promises. The way I see it, I let this happen to myself anyway. (Just one thing I want to really clear out: I have family too you know, and I would have been able to spend time with them if I'm not waiting for you the whole day, to get a call 6 hours after, telling me you're NOT COMING. That's for the one who even bothered to call. And apologies on FACEBOOK?? Please. And that's for the one who even bothered to apologize.)

I realized this, when this one nice thing happened to me today, and I was not dying to call someone to tell them.

Is anybody gonna save me?

So, I was venue hunting for this big... event I'm planning. (And I won't ruin the surprise yet, so no details here) I found some good places, but I'm still torn. What do you do if you're undecided? To follow tradition, or to create my own? To take a risk, or to play it safe? To make it formal, or casual? I feel like I'm wayyy over-thinking it. I should just let it play out, right? And we'd all have fun anyway. But then, it IS a special night, and I'm sort of obliged to make it live up to expectations. Maybe it's crazy that that I'm doing this all by myself, but I don't see a single person who would volunteer to sacrifice themselves like this. But then again, it's good experience. I'm not the victim right? I pretty much did this to myself when I volunteered for the job.

Can anybody tell me what's going on?

Oooh. Do you know what this means??? Since I started this thing, I am, like, the PIONEER of, like, everything. How stupendously cool is that!! I am sooo going to give myself an awesome title. I totally deserve it. Something like, Executive Producer. Wow, now we're talking.

Wait a minute, this job is not just fun and games, you know. The really hard part, is having to organize this allll the way from Sydney. Like, that's hard. I have yet to figure out how to do it efficiently. You know, it's not like I can just drive there in an emergency situation. I need an in-between, someone who can do the job when I'm not around.

Tell me what's going on

Saying that, hmm, what do you think of the title Impresario. Nice. Like, awesome. I sound like I'm organizing the Opera or something artistic like that. Haha.

Do you know something? Whenever I write or talk in English, I've always been crippled by how some Malays words are just not translatable. And I cannot, try as I might, find a similar word in English. And even worse, I cannot even explain the word in English without using too many words.And that kind of sucks, because some Malay words are pretty nice. Like words? Like...

Geram. Well, this has one meaning in Malay, but has two translations in English. One of which is being mad. And even that is a rough translation. People always mis-translate it to mean 'a condition', when it's actually a feeling. It's a feeling you have when you feel angry, but it's also a feeling you have when you see something really cute and you just feel like pinching its cheeks but can't. I always wish they have this word in English. Or maybe my vocab is too limited. But if you know this word, please tell!

Merajuk. The only sort-of equivalent word in English is 'upset'. But the thing is, it is not exact. It means being upset in a cute-like way. Sort of playfully. Something like that. Sort of like sulking. Usually it's used on kids. Then maybe it's also used on boyfriends and girlfriends for the 'cute' thing. I mean, otherwise, how do you tell your boyfriend you're upset, but not seriously upset, just a little bit?

Mengada. Well. This word, I just don't know how to explain AT ALL. Or maybe too lazy to put it in words. Perhaps it means something like being 'Princessy'. But seriously, I can't explain it fully. And if anyone of you can explain it, or better yet, find an equivalent English word for it, do enlighten me and the rest of us. Haha.

If you open your eyes

Seriously, I really really believe that The Malay language is exceptionally beautiful. From what I've read from literature and such. But I also believe the language is the hardest to master. I mean, English is my 2nd language, and it's so much easier for me to be good at, rather than Malay. But, I'd say that Malay is the easiest language to learn the basics. It's freaking easy, in fact too easy, to learn enough to understand and be understood. Sometimes I wish the world could see the beauty of the language the way I see it. True experts of the language are becoming less and less these days. It's quite sad isn't it? Maybe the world should recognise the language, just enough to give motivation to the next generations to master it. If not, I really don't want to be a part of a dull language being suited to the times, and losing it's beauty. Malaysia goes through alot of globalisation. But please, I beg you, don't globalize my language.

You'll see that something is wrong.

LoVe~
MzP<3