Food on my Mind!

It's only been a week and half of puasa so far. And yet this is the hardest puasa month I had to go through. I had stomach aches, headaches, asthma, sinus, cold and a lot of everything else. I wonder how I went through the last years of puasa. I don't remember it being this agony.

Went to Aimi's farewell dinner. She's going already. And so is a lot of other people I know. Grace is going too, very soon. I'm gonna miss them so much!!! Eiman went. Wai Wai, NJ, Mel, and even my beloved bestest bestfriend Iman!! I feel so sad right now. And like a loser. Not only am I not going anytime soon, but I haven't even been confirmed to any universities yet. And that sucks big time. I feel so envious of these people. Grace got into Cambridge!!! Man, she's already on the path to constant success. I mean even when she's 50 people will still say,"Oooh, that's the woman who went to Cambridge!" See what I mean by being envious?

Me? When am I going? I honestly don't know. Why? The reason is simple: Lack of funds. I don't know why but my parents pick this time as the time to build that super expensive house. And what happens to me? My parents aren't exactly great money-minded people. They have no idea about money. Seriously. That's why I'm in a rut right now. They used to give the excuse for not affording because they would have to send my brother too. But guess what? My brother got a scholarship and they still can't afford. Sad right? Instead, they rely too much on me getting a scholarship. Trust me, in this country, you can only get one if you're a super-nerd, a debater or have really good connections. Mostly the latter. One thing I want to be when I grow up is not like my parents. I would want to be able to send my children to study on my own terms so they can choose what they want to do and won't be bound by any company. Scholarship would only be a privilege and not a necessity. That's how I want it to be. I really hope my parents would sort it out real soon. If not, you'll be looking at someone who won't go to college/university.

I hope my parents see the light during this fasting month. I hope they can figure it out soon. My life is on the line here. And my future.


LoVe~
MzP<3