07 August 2009

STOP

A month ago, I told some people, some friends, of the most dramatic thing that happened in my life. People I just met, people I barely knew. I lied.

The most dramatic part of my life didn't just happen this year, it happened all the way up to 7 years ago while I was still what you would call a preteen.

And also, I lied because I can never pinpoint it. I can never tell you the exact point that is the most dramatic. Mostly because they're all way way way dramatic.

Partly because there are some things you just wanna keep to yourself.

Today is one of those days. One of the worse ones. One that will haunt me for the rest of my life. The kind of 'dramatic' that even if you look back 50 years from now, wouldn't be even remotely funny.

So what is it?

Unfortunately, it's one of those that I'd keep to myself.


Other people looking in, in fact, most people, would have something to say about this. Things like, how this is wrong. Yes, the mark on my face is present, but it's only just a mark. Just a mark.

I know I'm a woman, but I can take care of myself. I don't need protection. And if I do, I'll ask for it.

I know. I know it's my fault for getting people involved. I know. I didn't mean to. I really didn't mean to.

And for God's sake, STOP telling me it's against the law in Australia. I know what I can or can't stand. And if I'm alright with it, the police can't do anything about it. So there. (Well, unless they can claim temporary insanity on me, in which case, is a different story altogether).

Deep down, I know it's wrong. But people make mistakes right? Damn, I make mistakes. And damn it if it's not partly my fault anyway, right?

They'd tell me to stop defending him. Stop? If I don't, who will?

So he did something wrong. I know he did. I accept that he did. And I've forgiven him.


Back off. Let me decide what I can and can't handle.


LoVe~
MzP<3

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