Derrote

Something's wrong. You know that terrible feeling you have inside when something bad is going to happen? Well, it's eating me up inside right now. Trust me, my intincts are VERY rarely wrong(unless I've taken caffeine recently, which I don't think I have).

Something's up, and I can feel it. There's this thing about me that I hate very much. It's that I can feel things. Things around me that I can't explain. I know something really bad is going to happen but I don't know what, or why, or how. This feeling is terrible because:
1. Just the knowledge of it sucks.
2. I can't prepare to face it because I don't even know what it is!
3. he feeling comes with nausea and a terrible stomach ache.

No.2 always makes me feel worse. I don't know what's the reason for no.3. Maybe it's because I'm so, SO scared that it becomes physical pain. Why am I so scared? Because anything I do now might be the reason for this really bad something that's going to happen. Get it? Like, for example, typing this blog entry right now might be the cause of something bad. Or maybe something I am going to do in the next 10 minutes. Or maybe it's something I already did yesterday. I don't know which is worse, facing the consequences of what I had already done, or what I am going to do. Or what I am doing right now.

God, this is too depressing. I really should stop writing now. I feel this deep urge to cry. Or smoke. For the record, I smoke, like, 3 cigarettes a year. This might just be one of the times I need one.

LoVe~
MzP<3